I know, I know, it has been way too long. To say I have been busy is a slight understatement.
Since my last entry I have....
Quit my job
Started a new job
Moved into a duplex in a new city
Everything has been hectic but I have been enjoying the changes. It's the loneliness and empty rooms void of my children and memories that have been hard to take. But, I'm getting there.
About two weeks into my new position the office relocated. Granted, it relocated one building down, but it was still fraught with drama.
My brand new office was once the waiting room. They came in and added a beautiful door with glass windows down either side (no hiding in my office and eating candy for me). And! I have my Very. Own. Bathroom. *insert gasps of outraged jealousy here*
As lovely as my office is, it was lacking one very important thing: a way to lock the door.
Since I have become an independent woman, I have learned many things about myself. Among those things is the fact that I can do much more than I ever gave myself credit for. One of those credit lacking areas is being handy.
I mean, I can and do read directions. And, I have put together several things with my shiny new pink took set. With that in mind, I drove to Lowes and purchased a lock to put on the door to my office. I mean, how hard could it possibly be?
I returned with said lock, and began the task of removing the old and adding the new. And, it was actually pretty easy. Maybe too easy. But, I did it and all was right with my little office world. For a time.
It took about a week or so before I started having problems getting my door unlocked. I would put the key in, jiggle, remove the key. And repeat as many times as necessary to get desired results (the door unlocking).
I would come in, key in hand, ready for battle. And, then I began the war, jab key in - attempt to twist in all directions - pull key out - repeat.
Over and over and over.
Until in one magical moment it would suddenly turn.
My business office manager's husband used to be a contractor. He came in to place another lock on for us out of the kindness of his heart. While he was there, she asked him to look at my lock. Since it was the close of the day, I left them to look and I headed home. He had no luck.
I came in the next morning to see how much better it was. I thrust my key in the lock and attempted to turn. Nothing.
I put the key in again, gentler this time and it felt like it would click. So, I gently rocked the key back and forth.
And, miraculously it turned! I was stunned. Astonished. In awe.
There is one thing I know to be true about myself, the more pressure I am under at any given time, the more likely I am to barrel through life like a bull in a china shop, my main concern being getting from point a to point b, no matter the casualties.
I stood with my door open, my key in my hand, my eyes on the knob thinking.
I walked around to my desk and sat down, took a deep cleansing breath, and began the list of things to do for the day....
In slow motion.
And I realized that I had not only learned the secret to unlockingy office, I had been given the key to unlock any door.
And that key is knowing how much pressure it takes to turn the key in the lock. With that simple lesson I was able to sit down and instead of bull-rushing through all the issues I had been facing, I was able to sit down and calmly seek solutions. I was able to listen and also hear what was going on all around me. And, I was able to push through some problems that needed a firm hand, yet also gently turn other situations with a patient hand.
As I pushed the key into my lock this morning, I also unlocked a peace that comes from knowing you have unlocked the door to your tomorrow and I walked through the door with a smile.
I left the office at 4:58 this afternoon and shut and locked my office door, satisfied with my accomplishments.