Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Get Your Own.....

I have been feasting lately on some of the best messages! I LOVE good preaching!! There is nothing that compares. This is not entertainment; when I listen to a message by a man of God, I am prepared to be challenged and changed! That's what it's all about!!

I have 2 children (of my flesh and blood) and I have prayed for them over the courses of their entire lives. I have prayed many, many prayers. And I don't foresee that ever ending as long as I am drawing breath into this body.

I have prayed about their hearts, about their minds. I have prayed for protection for them against the rulers of this world.

I have prayed about their futures, their callings....

I have prayed about my dreams for them, the dreams I see when I look at them.

I have asked God for many, many, many things during my many, many prayers.

And I know within my heart that He has His own dreams for them. So, I pray that I can see those dreams fulfilled.

Matthew 20:20 Then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children with her sons, worshiping him, and desiring a certain thing of him. And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom.

The mother of James and John sought the Lord for His favor on her sons. And He listened to her plea. After all, she had led them before the Lord in worship.

But, in this instance, it was not enough.

They weren't granted these places of honor because Mama asked. Jesus said, "You don't know what you are asking."

These "boys" were not allowed to ride in on the tail of Mama's coat. But, they did do many things for the Lord. They were loved of the Lord.

Because, at some point, they got from behind Mama and sought after His favor for themselves.

Let me tell you young people something: You can't sit back and expect doors to be open for you because your Mama prays.

You can't hang out on the pew, texting your buddies and expect to be used of God.

Daddy ain't gonna get you into the presence of God, he ain't going to get you an audience with the Almighty.

And just because you have a phenomenal Pastor, don't think you automatically slip to the front of the line.

If you want the favor of God in your life, you better get serious and get to it.

I was not raised under a pew. I didn't cut my teeth on the Gospel, didn't grow up with the songs of Zion ringing in my ears.

I was basically ignorant of the things of God when He found me. When I got on my face and wept bitter tears of repentance I wasn't doing it because it was all I knew.

I was doing it because I was desperate, and grabbing hold of Him with both my hands was all I KNEW to do!

I had not heard about gaining His favor for my life. I only knew I was broken and it was only at His feet that I was going to be repaired. I didn't accept Him as my "Personal Savior," I prayed He would clean me up and accept ME! (once again, I think that is the most arrogant of think that *I* could wake up one day and decide to *accept the Lord* and because of that Acceptance on MY part I am forever saved....SO--->What would be the point of the rest of the gospel? Why would Paul die DAILY if it was a one time thing....but, I digress)

There was a certain man in the Old Testament, one that I have gleaned much from over the years, a man named Jacob.

I am pretty sure you know the story from Genesis 32:24-29 how Jacob wrestled with a man all night. When Jacob would not relent his thigh was touched causing his walk to change. Yet, he would not let go.

Verse 26 says: And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh, And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.

I won't give up until I have Your blessing. And even if it causes the way I walk in this world to be forever changed, I will not stop until I have prevailed.

It wasn't Mama on the ground, wrestling for favor for her son. It wasn't Daddy rolling around in the dirt.

There comes a day and time in your lives when it's time to stop riding on the coattails of others and get down in the dirt and wrestle until God gives you a blessing.

There comes a time when YOU have to make this real for yourself, when you realize that you can't rely on the walk of others to get you where you need to go.

One day you have to get down and dirty with God, when YOU get down on the mat, and you have to hold on until you get that favor, that UNMERITED favor, because even a wrestling match doesn't win that favor, *accepting* Him doesn't win that favor. THAT unmerited favor is **GRACE** and it is undeserved.

But when He sees YOU are serious. When He sees you leave your phone in the car at church and put everything you have into worship, when He sees you in pre-service prayer, when He sees you are SERIOUS....

He will change your Walk, your Talk, your Dreams and your Desires.

If you want the favor of God in your life there is only one way to get it.....

On Your OWN!!!!

Saturday, October 23, 2010


You always gave the best advice. And you saw things that I could never see. I really want to talk to you today, say "Daddy, this has happened. What do you think? What should I do?" and then I would listen as you examined both sides. I always had plenty to think about after we talked. Then there were the problems you just handled. Because you were my Daddy and that was your job. I always knew what that meant, but today I realized it meant more than I knew.... I am allowed to grieve you, I am allowed to miss you. And I alone know what I'm missing because you alone were my Daddy. I love you and miss you all the time. I wish you were here so you could talk to me about when your own Daddy died so I would know if it gets easier. Because I know you had this same great love for him.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I'm Tired of Begging

What is the need in your life? Is there something you have been praying for over and over, year after year?

Let me give you some hope today.

There was a man, lame from birth, who was carried daily and laid at the gate of the temple Beautiful.

Day after day.....

Year after year.....

This man had a need....he needed food to eat, clothes to wear, a place to stay.

Yet, he was lame with no way to earn the money for those things by his own labor.

Day after day he was brought to the temple....carried to the appeal to the kindness of those who had come to worship.

He didn't get holidays vacation days....didn't matter what the weather was.

The Bible say in Acts 3:2 that they laid him DAILY at the gate.

Not almost every day....

Not once a week....

Not occasionally....


He laid there each and every day....with a need....waiting....

And eventually someone would come by and give him a little money...and then maybe someone else would come by....then another....

And this was great.

But it did not solve the real need was almost like a band aid that was simply covering the real problem.

Yet he still showed up every day and begged anyone who came close enough to hear his voice.

One day, he hit the jackpot....

Who knows how many times Peter and John may have passed this man before. Maybe he never called out to them before. Maybe they had slipped money in his cup on times past....

But this day when he looked at them expecting to receive money as he usually did from those who stopped he received so much more....

Verse 6 says: "Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk."

Now, I am going to be honest, working in my chosen field I have encountered similar situations. I have had people come to me and say "If I only had _________ I could do ________."

And then, just like a miracle, I say "Hey, I can get that for you!"

But, what I have found is that there are people in this world that like living in that beggar mentality. They don't want a better situation in their lives....they like living with their hand out for someone else to fill.

This man in the Book of Acts did not suffer from this: "And he leaping up stood, and walked, and entered with them into the temple, walking, and leaping, and praising God." (verse 8)

He quickly got up out of that place of begging and went into the house of God with a testimony!!

I have spent so much time on my knees over certain things....too much time.

Now I have to ask myself....has my answer come....and I have rejected it....

Have I become so accustomed to living with my hand out, waiting for God to fill it that I have missed the REAL answer??

"Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none, but SUCH AS I HAVE give I thee: In the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk." (verse 6)

Because the Lord didn't answer one of my prayers the way I wanted Him to, did I miss what He had for me??

And if I missed it....who else have I cheated?

"And all the people saw him walking and praising God: And they knew that it was he which sat for alms at the Beautiful gate of the temple: and they were filled with wonder and amazement at that which had happened unto him." (verses 9 & 10)

I declare to you today, I am TIRED of begging.

God has done many wonderful, marvelous things in my life...too many to ever count!

And even though there are things that I have been praying for over and over and over wanting the answer I want, I am now praying for something different.

"God, open my eyes! Let me see what You have already done in/with ____________. Let me know what YOU would give me, because even though it may not be what I asked for, if it is from You, then it is what I need. Let me get up out of this beggar mentality and walk and leap and praise YOU because You didn't leave me where You found me, crippled by the sin of the world!! Let me show others, every day, just how much serving You is really worth. Not silver and gold which will pass away....More, so much more! Oh, how I love You so!!"

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Remember My Bonds

There is an old song called "God on the Mountain." The very first line is "Life is easy when you're up on the mountain..."

That is so true, isn't it?

It is easy to give God the praise He deserves when everything is going your way.

But then you find yourself in the valley and the song changes, things aren't as simple anymore and it is MUCH harder to keep that positive attitude in times of trouble and heartache.

I bet all of us know someone that is always living in the valley, someone who you are afraid to ask, "So, how are you?" because you REALLY don't want to know.

Doom and gloom, trouble on every side, always in a crisis....

It is hard trying to see the positive side ALL of the time, I will admit it. There are times when I get my eyes off of Him and get them on my circumstances and when I do, I feel overwhelmed, even hopeless at times.

I have had to tell myself "NO, you are not doing this!"

I have had to rebuke negative thoughts and the one that brings the doubt and the fear into my life.

And I try to monitor what I say to people. I live for the Almighty, Omnipotent, All Powerful King of Glory, and that should be apparent by my actions, my speech, my life.

What am I telling the person that is looking for answers to the emptiness of their lives if all they hear from me are my problems? Do you think that will encourage them to seek Him for their own answers?

Please understand, I believe in prayer, I believe prayer changes things. NO, I don't just believe it, I know it without a shadow of doubt in my mind. He still moves stones, He still delivers, He still heals and He still hears. There is nothing too small and nothing too large for Him.

I do believe that when I am faced with problems I need to call on His Name and I need to seek other Saints to pray with me.

But I don't need to let my situations consume me. That "whoa is me" attitude has no place in my life. And I also don't believe that I need to use my problems to draw others attention to me, the kind of "Look at me, look what I am going through" mentality has no place in my life.

I have suffered, I have hurt, and I have longed for change in my life, but if at any time I have allowed my own problems to cause someone else to say "Man, I wish she would hush already," then I am truly sorry for that. I pray that is never the case, and if it is or has been, I pray that Jesus will change me, remove that attitude from my life.

Because, believe it or not, there are many things that go on in my life that only He knows about. And although you may never specifically know what they are, you know that I am a living, breathing person, therefore I have problems.

So, here is what you do: Know that life is not always easy for me, just as I know that about you, and PRAY for me. Remember me when you seek His face, call out my name before the throne. Remember my bonds.

I was struck by the words of Paul today in Colossians 4:18 The salutation by the hand of me Paul. Remember my bonds. Grace be with you. Amen.

This is the very LAST verse in the Book of Colossians.

There are 94 other verses in that book alone. And in those verses Paul talks about thanksgiving, grace, joy and love.

But in only one verse, that very last verse does he mention it, the fact that he has a need.

A desperate need.

On four or more years during his ministry Paul was in prison, literally.

And while he was he wrote Colossians, Philemon, Ephesians, and Philippians.

While he was in bonds, he continued to work, he continued to exalt the church, continued to correct, to lead, to teach and to love.

It was during an imprisonment he wrote: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

While in bondage he continued steadfast in the work of the Lord. And instead of Epistles that paint a picture of how unfair and unjust life had been to Paul, we are painted a beautiful masterpiece of faith in the face of impossible circumstances.

That is the testimony I want to leave behind.

Not how bad my problems were, but how good my God was to me.

Are my problems gone? No.

Remember my bonds when you pray, as I will yours. bonds are NOT what I want you to remember about me....not what I want to fill up the pages of my life story.

Yes, they are there, but I want my life to tell the story of what I did in spite of the circumstances I may have found myself in. I don't want the problems of my life to be the plot...I want them to be a side note.

Let that be the closing line, not the opening one....

Oh, by the way....remember my bonds.


Tuesday, October 5, 2010


I think it's so exciting to see all the different places that hit my blog.

I am honored to think you take the time to check up on me. Of course, you may be stopping by because you think I'm a nut case or something of that manner....

EEHHH, I probably am....

But I would love to hear from you. You don't have to leave your name, but if you feel lead, leave a comment...let me know why you stopped, why you come back, and what you would like to see here.

If a particular blog touched you, I would love to know about it.

This has been such a nice expression of all I am inside. I would continue to do it if no one ever read them but me.

You have no idea the number of times I have gone back, re-read, laughed, cried, rejoiced, and sorrowed all over again.

So much time has passed since I started, so many changes, so many left to take place...

One thing remains constant.....

This IS the day!!!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Not One More Day in the House of Saul

I am blessed with a phenomenal Pastor, Rev. Ben Weeks. It is always amazing to me to have a man who is so in tune with God.

Sunday afternoon service here in Douglas he preached from 2 Samuel 3:1, 6 & 12:

1-Now there was long war between the house of Saul and the house of David: but David waxed stronger and stronger, and the house of Saul waxed weaker and weaker.

6-And it came to pass, while there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, that Abner made himself strong for the house of Saul.

12-And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf saying, Whose is the land? saying also, Make thy league with me, and, behold, my hand shall be with thee, to bring about all Israel unto thee.

One thing we need to understand as Christians is that there will always be a struggle between the House of Saul (Flesh) and the House of David (Spirit).

Galatians 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

The Spirit will never be on the same side as the flesh. The spiritual conflict within the Christian involves his total being as he struggles to determine whether he will wholly surrender to the inclinations of the flesh or the sinful nature and return to the dominion of sin, or whether he will yield to the demands of the Spirit and continue under the dominion of the Lord.

The House of Saul was getting weaker and weaker, but the House of David was getting stronger and stronger.

When Abner was aligned with the House of Saul he gave it everything he had within him. He fought as hard as he knew to fight.

In Chapter 2, we read of the servants of David and the servants of Saul meeting by the pool of Gibeon. Abner suggested to Joab that the young men arise and play before them. Twelve young men from each side met and all were slain.

Never be mistaken, if you live too long in the House of Saul, the games you play will lead to your defeat.

Abner left the scene running with Asahel, the brother of Joab running behind him. Asahel was "as light of foot as a wild roe" and quickly overtook Abner. Abner warned him to turn aside saying "wherefore should I smite thee to the ground? how then should I hold up my face to Joab thy brother?

But Asahel would not stop. It was then that Abner took the "hinder end of the spear" and with more force than he probably intended, he smote Asahel under the fifth rib and he fell dead, his death on Abner's hands.

The two sides then met in battle. In the end the House of David lost 19 men, the House of Saul; 360.

When you stay too long in the House of Saul, you will get involved deeper than you ever intended.

Abner was accused of taking Saul's concubine named Rizpah during the midst of the war between the House of Saul and the House of David. This was the turning point for Abner.

2 Samuel 3:8 ...Am I a dog's head, which against Judah do show kindness this day unto the house of Saul thy father, to his brethern, and to his friends, and have not delivered thee into the hand of David, that thou chargest me today with a fault concerning this woman?

Do not be fooled. You may align yourself to the House of Saul, you may give it your all and all, but the flesh will always turn against you.

When you stay to long in the House of Saul, the accusations will be more than you can live with.

Abner approached David through messengers saying; "Whose is the land? saying also, Make thy league with me, and, behold my hand shall be with thee, to bring about all Israel unto thee."

Let me join with you, Abner said.

David replied.

2 Samuel 3:13 And he said, Well; I will make a league with thee: but one thing I require of thee, that is, Thou shalt not see my face, except thou first bring Michal Saul's daughter, when thou comest to see my face.

To align yourself with the King, you have to bring him what he wants.

I have known men, good men, and women, good women who spent too much time in the house of Saul, too much time seeking after fleshly pursuits.

Oh, it may start out innocent, small, but it never stays that way. And one day becomes two and two become three. Suddenly you realize this innocent game that you started out with has become deadly.

And you are NEVER the only one affected. That "little thing" becomes something more, and that something more becomes something more, and before you know exactly when it happened you have become involved in something more than you ever imagined.

And you are doing things that you would have NEVER done ordinarily and caused untold damage to those around you: your parents, your friends, your spouse, your children.

Then the time comes when you come face to face with how far you are from where you started. It would be easy for someone to believe the worst in you as you stand face to face with the voice of your accusers, and harder to deflect the accusations in light of all you have become.

But you can gain an audience with the King. And the voices of the past can be silenced simply by bringing the King what He wants.

You have lived your life of sin with everything you have. Doesn't He deserve the same?

He is waiting for you to bring Him His bride...

That bride that has been washed by the blood, now without one spot or wrinkle.

It's not too late for you to switch sides in the battle. It's not too late to come to the winning side.

I have made up my mind that I won't spend one more day in the House of Saul, because as I tarry there my strength leaves me, I get weaker and weaker and weaker.

I want to dwell in the House of David for the rest of my days. It's a simple choice that is worth whatever cost.

**Thank You, Jesus for my Watchman on the Wall. Thank You for instruction and the Word of Truth. You ARE my King."