Season of Joy

Ok. I know that I have posted a lot of blah posts of late. There are many things going on in my life "behind the scenes" so to speak, that I haven't been talking about. 

And, well I have my reasons. The first and foremost reason is it's my story and I will tell it when I'm good and ready.   

I have had a tremendous longing in my heart for something that I knew was waiting for me. A longing that is a need, and empty spot that has to be filled. 

Christmas has been topsy-turvy for me since my parents died. I didn't feel like celebrating the year they died. The next year I bought all new decorations and put up a beautiful tree. Then we had the changes in our family and it didn't seem like the tree was a good idea. 

This year the tree went up. It was beautiful and I enjoyed coming in and turning it on each night. It makes me smile and reminds me that life goes on and I am moving forward. 

There is joy in my life. Real joy. The joy has come at great cost, but it's joy none the less. I have a reason to smile. I have a reason to hope. And, I have a reason to love. 

This is a season of joy for me. A season to be with my wonderful, smart, successful children, to love on them and wrap myself up in their love for me. 

This is a season to share my love and get joy from the pleasure of others. 

And this is the season to be loved and treasured for who I am. 

All I can say is YAY. 

Let Me 'Splain......

I think that I probably relate to Lucille Ball WAY more that I should. Lucy was always getting herself into some kinda pickle and had to try to figure a way out before Ricky caught on to what was going on.

I don't have a "Ricky" looking over my shoulder, but by-George I am way too good at getting myself into pickles.

I have to tell you a secret before I go any further. (softly in a wispy voice) **I hate drama**

I get on Facebook and I see all these posts about people who seem to think the world at large is just sitting around waiting to see what kind of tragedy has befallen them today.

Posts like:

UGH....I haven't pooped in 12 days! And, I am continuing to shove food in my mouth day and night! HOW much longer can this go on??? How can I go to Walmart when I don't know WHEN the big poop will happen?? I HATE my LIFE!!!

OK...

So, I have never actually seen that post....and I am laughing way too much imagining it....

But, essentially that is what those other posts look like to me.

Lucy had it going on. She would find herself in some of the worst situations you could ever imagine and she didn't go around blabbing to everyone and their brother. NOPE. She rolled up her sleeves and in her Lucy way she proceeded to find a way out of what ever stupid situation she had gotten herself into this time.

Let me tell you something, I have been in many a pickle. I have had my heart broken, my trust destroyed, my faith shaken. I have been overfed and underfed. I have wondered where my next dime was coming from and I have felt fear shake me to my very foundation.

And more than likely, unless you were my "Ethel," you. will. never. know.

Now, there are many "stupid Sheri Stories" that circulate throughout my family. Hey, I'm OK with that. Most of the time I will tell you myself. I mean, some of them are pretty dang funny.

I recently posted the clip of Lucy and Ethel at the chocolate factory on Facebook because of a situation going on at work. Man, that is definitely the way it has felt for us lately. And I promise you, I would have reacted the same way they did when that candy started shooting out on that belt.

But, let me explain something to you.....I am, well.....me.

I have no "hidden agenda." I am not talking out of both sides of my mouth. I am just simply me. I don't know how to be anyone else. I have left the safety of my old life and stepped out into this crazy world. And, at first I thought "Hey, I got this! This isn't bad at all!!"

Then the belt sped up and candy started shooting out at me faster than I could get it wrapped up. I have no past history of the candy factory that helps me to deal with it.

In plain English, I have no idea how to do this. My personal *life* resume includes these highlights. Wife. Mother.

That's it. I have no experience with dealing with all the rest of the stuff life alone throws your way.

I recently wanted to eat at Chili's. I went in and the girl at the door asked me how many. I said, "oh, just me."

Her response....

"Aw.....Do you want to just sit by the bar?"

Um....is the the room delegated to losers who can't find anyone else to eat with? Then, yes.

Yes, I am Lonely Girl, er lady/woman.

And, I don't know how to explain that because I have no intention of doing so. I am bungling my way through this new territory with minimal causalities so far.

And just like Lucy who only wanted that new dress, or a night out on the town, I only want love in my life. I am hoping to bungle my way into happily ever after in spite of it all....

Maybe.....

Someday....

For now I am standing at the conveyor belt of life, trying as hard as I can to keep that candy from getting by me......