Friday, January 31, 2020

Who I Am

I wish I would remember more often to place my thoughts here. For a time, it was such a vital part of my life, but years have changed me in many ways, and I have allowed this to kind of slip from me.

I “accidentally” hit my blog in my bookmarks and I paused to read. And, I cried.

Wow. How much time has changed.

It is 2020. If that wasn’t amazing enough I am 53. AND a grandmother.

Several years ago I went through a horrible time. I lost my parents within 3 months of each other. To be honest, I feel like I lost myself there for a while.

My marriage suffered through that lost and before I knew it, I had allowed it to sift through my fingers like sand, tossing aside 26 years. And the circumstances had left me broken. Terribly damaged.

I made decisions at a time when I had no business deciding anything and it just got worse from there. BUT....

Here I am.

All this stuff happened. And then, something wonderful came out of it all.

ME.

For so many years I looked to others for my happiness. Finally, I’m happy with me, the ME that Jesus has made me.

I have such a rich life. So much love.

I was eating my supper tonight and my phone rang. It was my niece, Whitney’s number. I answered and said I was glad she called because I was going to call her.

Instead of Whit, I heard this sweet voice saying Hey Aunt Sherwee!

It was my GREAT niece, Chapel. We chatted about her life. And she told me her Daddy had bought her “Pirate cereal” aka Captain Crunch. She said they were tired and they were home now.

Did I mention she is 3?

Then I heard the voice of her Dad saying “Chapel, WHO are you talking to?”

She answered, “Aunt Sherwee!” Like, Duh.

Her Mama’s voice then piped in. She said they had just got back from grocery shopping and were unloading. They left Chapel in her car seat until they were done. It seems Chap has figured out how to use Siri to call people.

Imagine that.

Of all the people she knows love her, she called her Aunt Sherwee.

That’s when it really hit me.

Jesus, You have given me everything I ever prayed for. How could You possibly love me this much? I will never deserve it, but I am grateful. All those sad, pathetic blogs when I wanted what I had always dreamed of, and You delivered me from myself right into the dreams You dreamed for me. And they are so much better than anything I could have ever hoped for. Thank you, Lord for loving me THIS MUCH!