Do you even see them anymore? Or, has it become easy to look over them or through them?
She sits alone at the end of the pew each service. Once upon a time she was a young bride, full of love and the promises of life to come. She raised her children and served Him in every way she could. She was always there. Then her life shattered and every dream turned into a lie. Alone now, living a life she never prepared to live, she lies awake at night without purpose, wondering if it would be better if she were not even alive. She feels rejected and unwanted, and unworthy. Because of what she has been through she doesn’t even feel like she can be used anymore, and her once vibrant altar work has become shadowed by a past she didn’t ask for.
Or the young woman who isn’t so young anymore. Who has watched all of her peers marry and start families while she still waits. She feels too old to be involved with the youth and cannot participate in the young married group where her lifelong friends are. She becomes a gopher, a babysitter, and a planner of showers for others who are celebrating. She has stood beside many other brides and years have slipped by and she still waits. Now those dreams have dulled and her hope of that “happily ever after” seems like an impossible dream.
What about the man with his two beautiful kids who did everything right. Met a beautiful young girl and courted her. Had the wedding attended by all of their family and friends, and slowly watched the dream turn into a nightmare as she spent more and more time away from her family. And then one day she packed her bags, pushed her children in the house and slammed the door on every promise she made. Now the young father is left to pick up the shattered lives of his children and himself and rebuild alone.
There is the mother facing middle age alone after a brief illness robbed her family of the leader of their home.
The man who turned his life around and began living for God with everything he had only to lose the wife of youth because she wants no part of who he has become.
Jeremiah 10:19 “Woe is me for my hurt! My wound is grievious: but I said, Truly this is a grief, and I must bear it.”
This world is full of lonely people. And, so are our pews. We have neglected these souls that are already neglected.
While your Christmas is full of gifts, your birthday is celebrated, your accomplishments are shared, these are left to just pass another day and pretend they don’t feel the emptiness.
Job 17:11 “My days are past, my purposes are broken off, even the thoughts of my heart.”
Apostolic Churches are full of singles. They are in every church. They are single, divorced, widowed, separated. They are alone. They are the third wheel on dinner dates. They are the afterthought of gatherings. They are buying their own birthday gifts, and talking to their dogs for company.
They are VALUABLE.
Psalm 31:12 “I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.”
And, most of the time, they are broken.
There was a concept within the Japanese culture many centuries ago. That concept was wabi-sabi - an embracing of the flawed or imperfect. They valued those vessel that you could see the wear on, the ones that you could tell had been used. Those vessels were honored and treasured.
And when one of their vessels became broken they would use gold, silver or platinum dust to repair the damage. Whereas our modern culture sweeps up that broken thing in the dust pan and throws it away, allowing themselves only the memory of what the vessel once was, the Japanese would literally "highlight" the damage. This event in the life of the vessel became what made that vessel special.
It is stated that "the bowl had become more beautiful for having been broken. The true life of the bowl began the moment it was dropped."
Realizing circumstances for each situation are different, the Singles in our midsts are searching for purpose and connection.
Truthway Church in Pineville, Louisiana has formed a Single’s ministry at the urging of Pastor J. Tim Merritt. Bro. Cobin and Sis. Keesha Hebert have taken the helm to provide the group of members a safe environment and help these often forgotten to find purpose. To embrace this season as a season of growth instead of stagnation. The Mission of the group is to develop “A Singleness of Heart” (Acts 2:46 “And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart.”)
The challenge is there. How do our churches serve this lost community of Saints? How can they be made a part of the body instead of feeling apart from the body?
There are broken people in our churches, on our pews. So, remember when you find someone with their lives in jagged shards around them YOU can respond to them. You can embrace them in their brokenness and help them to see the beauty in the life God has put back together. And you can help them to understand that their life is not over and brokenness is not the end.
