Growing up it was always "us 5 and no more." We lived in a variety of places, and only for a very short time in my existence were we in the same area as family. It was always my parents, my brother, my sister and me. And we became accustomed to life that way.
I have lived away from my brother and sister since 1990. I moved with my own little family to Troy, Alabama in September of that year, just 2 days after giving birth to my son. We have been apart every since.
My parents moved to Douglas back in the beginning of 1990 and after I finished college we came here (in 1995) so that we could be closer to them.
Now my parents are moving back to Louisiana and will be living next door to my sister.
And here we are, in Douglas.
It was always just us growing up, we relied on each other. We were our own friends, our own entertainment, our own family. One of the hardest days of my life was when my Mom loaded up and pulled away moving to Georgia. Denise was 2 and I started crying as they pulled away. One of my tears hit her arm and she looked at her father and said, "Mama spilled on me."
My family has always been a source of strength for me. But there has been a cost to the distance between us. So many things we have missed out on....
Our children have all grown up without really knowing each other. And we have missed so many events, graduations, and in my case, births. I have 2 great nieces now that will probably never know just how much this Aunt loves them.
It's not only the miles, that can be overcome. It's life that gets in the way, creating the biggest gap of all. It leaves a chasm that cannot be crossed between me and those that own my heart.
Oh, how I would love to have a nice Sunday Dinner after church with my brother and his family, or go camping with my sister. Wouldn't it be wonderful to spend the afternoon babysitting one of my new babies?
If I could change one thing, this would be it. I would be surrounded by my family. I don't want it to be "us 4 and no more" here in Douglas. I want to have a relationship with those that mean so much to me.
And so it is in my walk with God. Sometimes I let life get in the way. And before I know it there is a chasm between me and the One who means more to me than ANYTHING.
So I am changing things because although I cannot change the physical distance between me and my family, I can change the spiritual distance between me and my Father.
I can bridge that chasm on my knees, I can touch Him through His Word. I can know Him by spending time in His presence.
Because the distance between me and Him is in my control. And I want only to be at His feet.