Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Back in the Day

I grew up in a nice middle-class family. Nothing fancy. But very typical, I suppose. I was raised the youngest child of three and had both of my parents at home. 

We lived in modest but nice homes. My mother had a way of making even a small apartment cozy and full of warmth. Even in the very lean times I didn't know the difference because our home was full of something money can't buy or replicate. 

From the time it was necessary I was taught the difference between what's right and what's wrong and sometimes those lessons included a switch or a belt to my backside. I was taught to respect people and to show that respect. We didn't interrupt when someone was talking. We didn't act like heathens when we were out and about. We certainly NEVER went to someone's home and asked for anything. 

I think that one of the most important things we were taught was not just respect, but SELF respect. 

My parents taught me how to carry myself in any situation. And, when you have respect for yourself a wonderful thing happens - others respect you, too. 

I have spent time with homeless people and I have spent time with a former President of the United States. I have been in the company of politicians and some of country music's greatest legends. 

I have dined with CEO's and I have cleaned the backsides of the elderly. With each person I have met I have practiced the principles from back in the day when our parents taught us how to respect. 

And I have respected myself enough not to "air my dirty laundry for the whole neighborhood to see." I don't jump in the pig pen and wallow with the pigs, and I don't let my own failings and insecurities become the driving force that pushes my behavior. I don't elevate my own feelings at the expense of someone else. 

But, unfortunately my parents didn't raise everyone so there are quite a number of people out there who have some severe deficits in the respect department. 

So, let me share some sage advice. 

1. Carry yourself in such a way that it reflects who you are on the inside as well as the outside. What do you mean Sheri, you may be asking. I will explain. Clothes don't make the man or woman, but if your clothes leave so much uncovered that there is nothing to discover don't be surprised if you get treated like a floosy. If your pants are bagging and sagging and your whole behind is wagging, don't be surprised when you're treated like your intelligence is lagging. 

2. Keep your private business private. Have enough respect for yourself to keep the dirty underworld of your life unexposed to the general population. 

3.  Remember there will be times in life when things won't go your way. You're going to lose, you're going to hurt and be hurt. Suck it up. Hold your head up and keep walking. 

4. Look around you. There are billions of people in this world. And there is only one you. Your love life in the toilet because you continue to make bad choices is NOTHING compared to the mother who held her child while he or she drew their last breath, or the family who lost everything they owned in a fire, or the person who has been watching their mother or father slip away into the depths of dementia.  Grow up and get over yourself. 

5. You don't reach the heights of happiness by climbing your way up there on the hurt of others. You want to find happiness? It's fairly easy and it's completely your choice. It starts by simply loving and respecting yourself. 

6. If you don't like where you are, don't blame others. If you don't have enough, don't sit with your hand out expecting others to take care of you. There is no white horse headed your way.  Get off your behind and be your own hero.

I am thankful today for my parents; what they stood for and what they taught me. I am thankful that I know the value of being a lady and that I also know my own value and worth. 

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