There is not much that can prepare you for loss. I have been a "half full" kinda person my whole life, but there are times when I am staring face to face with an empty vessel and I was in no way ready to fill it back.
Life has a way of just happening.
You can be cruising along at a steady pace when suddenly you find you either need to speed up to warp speed or stop completely, usually landing with a thud.
I will be the first to say that I thought I was strong. After carrying grief on my shoulders I figured I could over come anything.
We have a tendency as fleshly creatures to get ourselves into some terrible places. We get complacent, we get forgetful, we get lazy, we get selfish, we get silly, and we get blinded by what we consider circumstances beyond our control. We place ourselves in harms way and cry when we are harmed.
I have read back over my blogs from the past and all my words of wisdom and yet it happened to me. I failed. Not God, me. I got my eyes off of God and placed them on man, off the infallible and onto the fallible. I placed myself, my family, into harm's way because I lost sight of who I was.
It was the thud that got my attention.
The long, hard fall that shook me. It was the realization that I had bound myself up, placed myself in prison and was waiting for someone else to come unlock the door that was standing wide open.
It was me that woke up in the pig pen and remembered how it was in my Father's house.
You do not wake up one day and decide to turn your back on God. It is a slow, easy stroll, sometimes, and when you finally stop to look around, you have no idea where you are.
But, He does. He has been standing, watching for your return. You are that lost coin. You are that long, lost son. You are that ONE sheep.
And, He longs for you. He longs for YOU.
Lord, I am ever so thankful today that You have never forsaken me. Help me to continue to gain ground and find my purpose again. You have never let me down, and I want to keep my eyes on you and not the storms that surround me, at times. My Hope is in YOU.
I heard this song coming home from church about a month or so ago. I almost had to pullled the car over. So thankful for the beautiful things and people in my life. https://youtu.be/_u_eGtgUxh0