Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
One year ago today I prepared to go to work. I was tired, weary to my bones, after weeks of preparation culminated in 3 weeks of celebrating the ministry of my Pastor, my brother, and my friend, along with his beautiful bride, the sister of my heart.
It was such a wonderful time. Everything went according to God’s plan. Even 2 of the keynote ministers having the wrong dates for the services. Bro. Larry Booker and Bro. Wade Bass both arrived a week earlier than were planned but this gave our Pastor time to spend with them he would not have had.
Sunday night ended in a wonderful meal for our church family as we celebrated thanksgiving together.
The next morning I dressed and headed to the church where I had an office. Only I never made it.
Around 10 minutes into my journey I was hit head on by a kid headed to school. He was on his cellphone and didn’t see the cars stopped in front of him until it was too late.
Beginning a few weeks before this I had felt the tug of the Holy Ghost telling me something was coming.
So, as I laid across the front seats after the impact, I knew this was what He had been preparing me for.
Psalm 139:7-12 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there:
if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
Even there shall thy hand lead me,
and thy right hand shall hold me.
If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me;
even the night shall be light about me.
Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee;
but the night shineth as the day:
the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
I remember vividly what happened. I remember crying out to You, asking You what was happening as I couldn’t see when the second car hit me. I remember seeing the lights begin to surround me as I knew You were there, ready to take me Home with You. I remember praying to You telling You I was ready to go, but if I could be there to see my babies grow up, I would like to. I remember as You lifted me to the top of the vehicle, I remember the glass crunching under my feet as I saw myself laying in the car and saw the truck that hit me head on.
I remember the woman who opened my door and found my phone for me. I remember telling her to call my son and my brother and to tell them I didn’t think I would make it.
I remember the paramedic and the other emergency personnel coming to my door. I remember telling them what I thought was wrong and that my seatbelt was still fastened but I couldn’t reach it because my arm was broken.
I remember screaming out in pain as they pulled me out on the back board. I remember looking down and seeing the front of my dress torn out as they took me to the ambulance.
I remember fighting to stay conscious as I determined if I was going to die I was going to die praying and speaking in tongues. I remember telling the paramedic I was having trouble breathing.
I remember seeing the face of my son as they pulled me out of the ambulance, seeing the concern on his face. I remember meeting Dr. Timmer as he told me he would take care of me.
And, I remember my son telling me everything was going to be alright. And, I believed him.
That’s all I remember.
As they took me to surgery they found my stomach muscles ruptured, my bowels severed and spilling out into my peritoneal cavity. They found my right leg broken in multiple places, my right ankle broken, my right forearm broken, my left ribs fractured, my left foot crushed.
They lost me twice during the surgery and gave me 16 units of blood that day which is equivalent to the amount of blood in your body.
They fought for me.
Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvellous are thy works;
and that my soul knoweth right well.
I know very well.
I remember and I know exactly what He did for me and the lengths He went to to keep me here.
Psalm 139:17-18 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God!
how great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand:
when I awake, I am still with thee.
Three days later my eyes came open in ICU and saw my family surrounding me. I thought it was the same day and I was astonished to see my daughter standing there. I knew when I opened my eyes and saw all those I love and who love me He was going to honor my prayer. I would see my babies grow to men.
Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
And as I sit here today, remembering again His mercy, His graciousness, His abundant love for me, I do so with a prayer in my heart and on my lips.
Search my heart, look into my thoughts. I can’t fail You, for to whom much is given, much is required. (Luke 12:48)
I want my story to be Your story. I want my presence to be overshadowed by Yours.
One year ago today You filled me with life. You sustained me. Let my life be lived in praise to You. My Jesus.
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