As I Have Loved You

Last night as I was preparing for bed a song popped into my head. It was a song that transported me back to a time when my very own babies were little, riding in the backseat of the car. I had a cassette tape of songs for them and they knew them all. We would sing them loudly as we traveled the roads of our lives. 

The one that visited me last night went like this:

This is my commandment that you love one another that your joy may be full.

That was basically the whole song. 

And, as it rang out in my mind last night, repeating repetitively I thought, “Hold up. This ain’t right.”

How on earth can my joy be full if I “love” as the world thinks of love?

I saw a man who was basically street preaching. A woman came up to him, who was wearing a ministerial collar, and attacked him because he was speaking against sin. She told him he had it all wrong because the whole message of the gospel was LOVE. 

And, that is correct. 

But, how can I have fullness of joy watching those that I love dying in their sins? Please, explain that to me because I am just not getting it. 

I woke up this morning with those same thoughts, that same song from long ago blasting in my brain. 

So, I went to the Word of God to put some context to this “commandment.”

And, guess what?

It’s not there. 

There is no commandment that says if we love one another our joy may be full. 

John 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

Huh. That is a lot different than the kiddie diddie. 

It looks like they just borrowed part of verse 11 just to make it a little more palatable to the masses. 

John 15:11 These things have I spoken unto you; that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. 

So, basically the song was a mashup of the two verses, but in doing so, the meaning was lost. Let me explain. We will work backwards for a minute. Just hang with me. 

Verse 10 says “If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. 

There is a lot to unpack here. I am going to come back to this in another blog so I don’t lose you, but it is important to note here that Jesus is speaking to the disciples at the Last Supper, right before the crucifixion. He has already told Judus Iscariot to do what he was going to do quickly. 

But, for the sake of time today, let’s move to verse 13. Now, we have some context. We know Jesus is about to give Himself for us. 

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

He goes further in the next verse to say who His friends are: 14 “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatever I command you.”

This is important to note here as well as it puts another spin on us accepting Him as our Savior.

16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

I want to go further into this in another blog, but He has called us to follow His commandments and bear fruit. This is to bring us joy. 

We are to bear fruit and remain in His love. And, this I will cover in another blog, so stay tuned. 

Now, I want to move on to what struck me, and why I know, without a doubt, we cannot love what the world loves. 

John 15:18-19 If the world hate you, ye know it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. (eth at the end of hateth is the act of continuing. So the world continually hates you)

Here is where it gets down to it. 

John 15:22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloke for their sin.  

When we live our lives before this world that hates us, we expose their sin. They can no longer “hide” and pretend in their hearts that everything is right with them. We rip the cover off of their transgressions. 

This is why this supposed “minister” was so offended by the street preacher exposing that certain lifestyles are sinful. It was, in turn, exposing her sin. And, in this world where we are pushed to accept evil as good, we see this at an increasing rate. 

So, yes we are commanded to love one another, but as He loved us. 

And, how did He love us? He loved us enough to reveal our sin to us, to rip the cover off of our transgressions. He didn’t do this so we could continue in sin. 

As He loved us, I cannot see others in their sinful state and NOT tell them about His salvation, NOT expose their sin, but also NOT pat them on the head and tell them they are okay. 

His LOVE exposes sin so that we are no longer separated from Him. 

As He loved us, I am commanded to do the same. 

I remember telling someone years ago that if you see someone you love standing on the edge of a cliff, you don’t push them away, you draw them closer, and I stand by that. 

But, what if when you extend the love needed to save them from their sinful state, they push you away because they don’t want their sin exposed??

We remember that they are not only rejecting us, but also Christ in us. They rejected Him long before we reached. 

My joy comes from keeping His commandment, to love as He loves. 

So, if I see sin in you, I will expose it. I will pray and I will reach for you. Not out of anything but love. Because I love you like He loves you. That is where my joy is and where it will increase. When I love you as He did, I have to tell you, I have to reach for you. 

And, isn’t that love? Isn’t that why I cautioned my kids not to play in the streets, or talk to strangers? It wasn’t to stifle their will, it was to protect their life, to allow them to grow and prosper. To teach them the difference between right and wrong. To shield them from the world and the things of the world. And what joy I had from showing them the way and helping them grow!

And what joy I have from loving you as He does. I won’t lie and say you are fine because where is the love in that? Where is the joy in knowing you are headed to hell? 

Even if you hate me, I will love you enough. 

I will love you as He did. 

Edit: 7/3/25 I had a beautiful revelation tonight concerning this verse

John 15:22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloke for their sin.  

Remember John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.

John 1:14 says - And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

So now, let’s take another look at John 15:22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloke for their sin. 
Yes, we need to talk to people about their lives, where they are, and what is hindering them (sin), but what an incredible revelation I had tonight. It is the WORD that convicts, right?
Look at these verses. The WORD was made flesh in the Man Jesus. So when He (the Word) spoke to sinners that WORD exposed their sins! 
We have to bring the Word to them. Not our opinions, the Word. That was the point I was making, but I didn’t fully explain for easy understanding because in my head I knew but it may not have been clear to others. Tonight while contemplating this verse it hit me this was a beautiful way to help others understand. ❤️
Why they should change, how they can change, it’s all in the Word!

 

Broken Together

My Pastor preached a timely message tonight regarding “Real Love in a Fake World.” He referenced 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

He stated we live in a world obsessed with love, but it is a shallow love. We are bombarded with “counterfeit connections.”

And, my how true that is.

Long ago a young, naive girl with her head in the clouds walked down the aisle to meet the love of her life. He waited there filled with the desire to build forever, a family, and a promise was made by him, and by her.

We had building blocks of memories and two precious legacies.

But, we were broken. 

I never felt like I was enough. Never. 

And, in the end, I wasn’t. 

I learned a hard and painful lesson about myself. And, I made a mess of my life trying to prove to myself that I was worthy of “love.”

John 13:35 says: By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

My Pastor pointed out tonight the preposition is “to” not “for” here. For is reciprocal. We are to have love one “to” another meaning we expect nothing in return. 
“To” here suggests direction, flow, or action toward someone else. A love that moves outward.
My Pastor always says LOVE is not a four letter word; it is a ten letter word, commitment. It’s not just a feeling. It’s something shown. And it’s directed toward others, not focused on self. Love is given freely without demanding or expecting something in return.
This is AGAPE love which is what is described in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.
On our wedding day I asked the pastor to read from 1 Corinthians 13.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

There is a lot going on there and in order to break it down it would need much more than this little blog post, but when I read these words today it is easy to see our failings. IF ONLY we had taken more heed to these words. 

Both of us. 

Would that have prevented our divorce after 26 years? I believe if we had lived those words the entire time it would have. 

But that fake love of the world crept on. Sin crept in. Other people were allowed access to the sacred things of our marriage. And, the hurt of those actions tarnished our union, and broke that little girl.

On my way home tonight I was listening to the songs on Apple Music that I have listened to the most in the last ten years. One of those songs I did not remember when it came on. But, once it started, I remembered well the times I cried to the song.

It’s called Broken Together by Casting Crowns. 

I urge you to listen if you are struggling in your marriage. I think had it come out before I gave up it would have helped me. 

I make no excuses. I am far from perfection, and I well know we are all broken. But, as long as He is in the center, we can be broken together.

Bitterness

NOTE: I edited this post correct an error, but I originally published this the week before my accident in November of 2023. 

James 3:11-12 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

I am, by nature, an observer. Usually I latch onto something strange and obscure during my low key “Harriet the Spy” moments. I mean, I look like I am just rolling along through the moment but in my head I am cataloging facts and asking questions like, “Why does that guy have one pants leg tucked in his sock?” Or, “Their right ear is MUCH lower than the left.”

I cannot help it. It’s just happening in here. 

I look at people when they talk. And I listen to what they say and what they don’t say. 

I have been a nurse for almost 30 years. That is hard for me to fathom. I think by nature real nurses are observers. (I say real nurses because I came from the era when we actually made rounds and checked on our own patients) We are always in assessment mode, checking for what is obvious and what may not be, what is voiced and what is left unsaid. I can see the change in expression, subtle guarding, and see a story unfold with no words spoken. 

One of my “observations” made over the years is that when a patient under my care passed away I could tell a lot about the family and the dynamics by the reaction to the death, mainly in the elderly patients. 

My first experience with losing a patient was an elderly woman one day when I was pulled to ICU. Her husband sat at her side holding and stroking her hand. Finally he said, “I guess we won’t go picking flowers again.”

My heart broke.

His children were there providing silent comfort and support, quietly loving on their father. 

Then another time the family came in and the daughter arrived after the father was gone. She went crazy. I chased her into the parking lot and we had to physically restrain her from harming herself. 

After I learned she and her father were estranged.

I noticed over time that usually the family members  that “carried on” the most were in some way disconnected from the person who died or there was some kind of drama surrounding their relationship. And I could always sense that thread of bitterness in their over the top grief. 

One of my favorite saying is “Be careful when you plant bitterness in the garden of your life.”

I think that is a Sheri Original. 

When you plant bitterness, you grow bitterness and your children eat from your bitter garden.

Do bad things happen? Sure they do! They happen to everyone. People let you down. You get hurt. You get disappointed. You suffer loss. Things don’t go your way. 

This is life. 

Naomi had lost her husband and her sons and was in a land alone with no family but her daughters in law who had no obligation to her.

In Ruth 1:20 And she said unto them, Call me not Naomi, call me Mara: for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me.

Life had not turned out as she had planned. So, what did she do? She turned around and went back to where she came from. She heard that the Lord had been providing for her people back home in Bethlehemjudah and knew she needed to return to the place of provision and leave Moab which means “just short of the promised land.”

Obviously Naomi had lived her life in such a way that these “daughters” who were not of her blood wept at the thought of leaving her. And although Orpah did return to her family, Ruth refused. She was committed to Naomi. 

I don’t think that kind of commitment came from Naomi being a gossip. From Naomi running people down. From Naomi gripping and complaining. I think that commitment came from Naomi having grace. 

Ruth said she would remain with Naomi even after they were both buried. No histrionics were noted in this declaration. 

Naomi didn’t have a name change. She had a moment. And then she pulled herself up and moved on. Nowhere else do I note her being called Mara, although if anyone had a right to be bitter, Naomi did. But she did not plant bitterness. And in Ruth Chapter 4 we see the results. 

Ruth 4:17 And the women her neighbours gave it a name, saying, There is a son born to Naomi; and they called his name Obed: he is the father of Jesse, the father of David.

Right now I can put my finger on situations in life where people are standing at crossroads. I have watched them standing on the bank of their waters, holding a gallon of salt. And those wonderful refreshing waters are in danger of being polluted with their bitterness.

Here is the deal. I went through a lot of things, and most of those things were self-inflicted. I did not heed to the voice of the Shepherd. And because of that, I ended up, swallowed down into the waters of life. And life was full of heartache. Now, I could have pointed my finger in all kinds of directions, but as my pastor years ago said when you point your finger at others you have three more pointing back at you.

You cannot have a refreshing place for your family and bitterness. You cannot grow your family in love, peace and joy if you are feeding them the slop of life by your attitude.

Out of Naomi’s heartache and grief came the lineage of the King of Kings. Out of her loss and out of the decision to move to Moab to begin with, came the Prince of Peace.

And this happened because there was something in Naomi that made Ruth desire to leave behind her people and remain with her mother in law even after there was no tie remaining. Naomi may have been crushed but she got up, she changed her situation, she returned home, and then she directed Ruth into her future. 

A good future. 

A godly future. 

Her people became Ruth’s people. 

The laws Naomi followed became Ruth’s laws. 

And Naomi is not remembered as Mara. 

She is remembered by her name which means

Pleasant

Gentle

What legacy are you leaving for your heritage? Have you allowed the waters of bitterness to fill the pool of your heart, to pump through your blood and be passed down to the next generation? 

You cannot operate in bitterness and expect an outcome of joy. The two cannot dwell together. 

The choice is yours today.

Today I choose to be remembered by my name which means Beloved or A Fertile Plain.

God Created….

Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

This year will mark my last year in my 50’s. It’s such a strange thought. So much of what rattles around inside of my head can hardly be the sum of almost sixty years of life. Yet, here I am, much closer to the ending of my story than to the beginning. 

It seems hard to fathom that I have forgotten more of the events that have taken place over these years than I could possibly remember. I have never retained as well as some, bumbling through my life oblivious to much of my surroundings. 

I had a dream recently about a childhood friend, one I haven’t spoken to in at least 14 years. This friend became angry at me about many things, never truly understanding me for who I am, for the whole of how my heart works. And, I cannot place the blame on her. In reality, only the Lord truly understands me. I have spent my entire life withholding part of who I am from others. And, I do not mean this to say there is some deep darkness lurking beneath my surface. Much to the contrary, I have just learned over the years that part of who I am is for me alone.

This friend had come to see me. I have no idea why. It wasn’t to renew our relationship, but moreover it seemed she was in search of some part of me and of my story since our less than friendly parting of ways. And, as I awoke, she still had not found whatever it was she was looking for. 

I am apt to share things about myself with others. But, few see me for who I am. My family, to some extent, know me well. But, even then I hold myself. 

In the beginning God created. He made every nook and cranny of this earth. He made us with feelings and intellect and the desire to be social. 

He formed me in my mother’s womb. He knew how I would think and feel and interact. He knew the places I would go and the people I would love. He knew that I have never been one who desired to fit in, but rather I have always just wanted to be myself regardless of the thoughts of others. 

He knew the depth of my feelings and He also knew the shallowness of them as well. 

Everything related to me can be traced back to His creative hand. Perhaps this alone accounts for the comfort I only feel in His presence. 

My Creator.