Broken Together

My Pastor preached a timely message tonight regarding “Real Love in a Fake World.” He referenced 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

He stated we live in a world obsessed with love, but it is a shallow love. We are bombarded with “counterfeit connections.”

And, my how true that is.

Long ago a young, naive girl with her head in the clouds walked down the aisle to meet the love of her life. He waited there filled with the desire to build forever, a family, and a promise was made by him, and by her.

We had building blocks of memories and two precious legacies.

But, we were broken. 

I never felt like I was enough. Never. 

And, in the end, I wasn’t. 

I learned a hard and painful lesson about myself. And, I made a mess of my life trying to prove to myself that I was worthy of “love.”

John 13:35 says: By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

My Pastor pointed out tonight the preposition is “to” not “for” here. For is reciprocal. We are to have love one “to” another meaning we expect nothing in return. 
“To” here suggests direction, flow, or action toward someone else. A love that moves outward.
My Pastor always says LOVE is not a four letter word; it is a ten letter word, commitment. It’s not just a feeling. It’s something shown. And it’s directed toward others, not focused on self. Love is given freely without demanding or expecting something in return.
This is AGAPE love which is what is described in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.
On our wedding day I asked the pastor to read from 1 Corinthians 13.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

There is a lot going on there and in order to break it down it would need much more than this little blog post, but when I read these words today it is easy to see our failings. IF ONLY we had taken more heed to these words. 

Both of us. 

Would that have prevented our divorce after 26 years? I believe if we had lived those words the entire time it would have. 

But that fake love of the world crept on. Sin crept in. Other people were allowed access to the sacred things of our marriage. And, the hurt of those actions tarnished our union, and broke that little girl.

On my way home tonight I was listening to the songs on Apple Music that I have listened to the most in the last ten years. One of those songs I did not remember when it came on. But, once it started, I remembered well the times I cried to the song.

It’s called Broken Together by Casting Crowns. 

I urge you to listen if you are struggling in your marriage. I think had it come out before I gave up it would have helped me. 

I make no excuses. I am far from perfection, and I well know we are all broken. But, as long as He is in the center, we can be broken together.