Identity Crisis

For so many years I lived the life of Mary. My thoughts, my actions reflected my praise for Him.

But, somehow over the last couple of years it seems like Mary has been disappearing from my life. She has been replaced by commitment and demands. She has been overtaken by dirty floors and laundry, by the drive to do a good job, by the need to make sure things were in order.

I don't resent Mary as Martha did when she complained to the Lord in the 10th chapter of Luke.

10:38-40 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he (Jesus) entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.

I don't resent the Mary's, I long to return to my own Mary identity.

There is a work to be done, and I certainly don't want to be found sitting around with what the Lord has given me and not using it for His glory. And although there is a movement in the religious ranks that tries to tell us that you only need believe to be saved I am thankful that I know there is more, much more in the Word.

James 2:17-19 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works; show me thy faith without thy works, and I will show thee my faith by my works. Thou believest that there is one God. thou doest well, the devils also believe, and tremble.

James 2:26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

If it were only necessary to believe in God then Heaven would be full of devils according to the Word of God.....but that's another blog.

Abraham was "justified by works" in this willingness to sacrifice Isaac. That was an expression of his faith in and commitment to God.

So even though I know it is important to do a work for God I also know how much He values my praise.

Luke 10:41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things; But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part which shall not be taken away from her.

Serving God is important, even essential and good. But our first and most important task is a love and devotion that expresses itself in worship, prayer, and fellowship with the Lord.

Sometimes we become so busy doing the work of the Lord, attending services, and doing good that we forget to have a spiritual communion with the Lord.

I seem to have forgotten who I am and what I am supposed to be doing.

When was the last time I laid down the broom and laid at His feet? The last time I took the box down and broke it onto His feet and did not worry about the price of the oil?

I have made a decision for this day and the days to come. I am returning to the Mary in me....

I am intent to find that balance between Martha and Mary inside of me. I know there is work to be done, but I also know that the only way to truly do what He wants me to do is when I lay aside those tasks that would hinder me and I get on my face before Him.

We sing a chorus about being called to a higher place of praise. The line that captured me tonight was "It becomes my highest praise when ALL that I am responds to who you are."

That is the key to my own personal Mary. ALL that I am....the Mary part of me and the Martha part of me need to respond to who He is. That's when I am giving Him my highest praise, that is when the mountains move and lives are changed.

I am determined. I AM Mary....

"I want to pour my praise on Him like oil from Mary's Alabaster Box. Don't be angry if I wash His feet with my tears and I dry them with my hair. YOU weren't there the night He found me, YOU did not feel what I felt when He wrapped His loving arms around me and YOU don't know the cost of the oil in my Alabaster Box."

I AM Mary....who are you??