I don't know if it is fair to say that I am haunted. But memories have become tangled in my mind like kite strings in trees on a windy day.
I am deluged with memories from 44 Christmases that have come and gone.
I feel melancholy but not particularly sad.
Just wondering about Christmases I have yet to experience.
I want to honor Him today. I want Him to know that I have not forgotten Him. I have not forgotten what He did by coming to earth, making Himself man so He could feel as man feels.
I know He did, feel, weep.
And He rejoiced.
Tonight I sit with memories swirling in my mind. Long ago days that I can recall only glimpses of along with more recent days that burn bright and vivid in my mind.
And my heart cries out with thankfulness.
You knew when I was formed that this time would come. And in every way You prepared me to feel loss yet to continue to feel love.
And I do. I still feel the love that little girl felt laying in bed anticipating what the morning would bring. I still feel the love that shimmered when my own babies woke me at 3 am to let me know it was Christmas.
I still feel the love You had for me as You made Yourself a living sacrifice for MY sins.
I can feel each year tonight, each moment in time. And more than that I can see Your love for me in every memory.
You are the love of my life. Looking back it is so plain to see, no one loves me more than You.