Raging

My name is Sheri, and I am a rager......

I have this problem. I think it has evolved because of the hustle and bustle of life for me.

You see...normally I am pretty even tempered. It takes a lot to get me worked up.

A doctor I used to work with was telling the other nurses one day that he didn't think I would ever get excited about anything. He said he expected me to come to him and blandly say,
"Doctor, the patient is about to deliver."

When the fetal heart rate would be concerning and my waiting parents would pick up on it and begin to panic I would always tell them, "When you see me panic....then you panic."

I might be jumping up and down in my head, but I always did my best not to let them see my concern.

So many times I have been told, "You keep your head in a crisis," or "Nothing ever seems to upset you."

I remember when I was a kid there was this song called "Junk Food Junkie." I have never forgotten that song.

It was this guy talking about how healthy he always ate, you know, bean sprouts and all that stuff. But, there was a side to the guy that no one ever saw...

I just have to share the words with you.


You know I love that organic cooking
I always ask for more
And they call me Mr Natural
On down to the health food store
I only eat good sea salt
White sugar don't touch my lips
And my friends is always begging me
To take them on macrobiotic trips
Yes, they are

Oh, but at night I stake out my strong box
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see
I open that door so slowly
Take a peek up north and south
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it in my mouth

Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good Lord have pity on me

Well, at lunchtime you can always find me
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
From my hand thrown pottery jar
And sippin' a little hand pressed cider
With a carrot stick for dessert
And wiping my face in a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt
Oh, yeah

Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight
And I'm all by myself
I work that combination on my secret hideaway shelf
And I pull out some Fritos corn chips
Dr Pepper and an ole Moon Pie
Then I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high

Oh yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
Oh, but at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good Lord have pity on me

My friends down at the commune
They think I'm pretty neat
Oh, I don't know nothing about arts and crafts
But I give 'em all something to eat
I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat home grown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice
Yes, I do

Oh, folks but lately I have been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death
I'm afraid someday they'll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles potato chips
And a Ding Dong by my head

In the daytime I'm Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good Lord have pity on me


I have always had this mental picture of this guy that never fails to amuse me.

Well, I too, have a problem.....

Road Rage.

Oh, please....not the "I'm gonna pull up next to you with a gun" kind....

More the "WHAT are you DOING? Who gave you a license????? Aren't you like 90, for crying out LOUD!!!"

"You could have passed them 10 times by now!! What are you waiting for? An invitation?"

"OK, Buddy....The rear end of this car is about to be on the market and YOU are the highest bidder if you don't BACK OFF!!"

I don't know what happens to me. Like the guy with the junk food problem, I am normally FINE!

But today, as I was traveling my lovely South Georgia country roads and I got behind PawPaw, and a tractor, and a guy with a bunch of stuff in the back of his truck with no tailgate, and the guy that pulled out in front of me when NO ONE was behind me and then went 10 mph and promptly TURNED causing me to have to slam on my brakes, I could feel sparks shooting out of my eyes.

My Name is Sheri....and I have road rage....

Good Lord, have pity on me.....