Praying for Boaz

I have spent years praying for my children's future spouses. And I continue to pray for them.

I have prayed that they would find a godly spouses, who would be a compliment to their walk with God, who would encourage them to grow, pray with them, a spouse that they would love with a godly love as the Word of God outlines.

There have been close calls, but God is always faithful. I want for my children that love that lights their faces when they see their spouse walk into a room. I want a love that desire to serve each other, that is not SELF serving.

I want them to have it all, and I know that even though it seems like a distant future to them at times, I know that it will be worth the wait for the right one. I know that with all of my heart. There is not compromise, no settling, on something this important. A wrong decision in this area could have life-long repercussions.

You only have to look at the astronomical divorce rate to know this is true.

What do they need to find the one that He has for them? A willingness to listen and a desire to serve.

This was the spirit of Ruth.

Left a widow, she declined to return to her own people as did her sister-in-law, Orpah. Ruth "clave unto her" mother-in-law.

Ruth 1:16-17 And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whiter thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me.

This is the spirit I want residing in my children. This is the spirit needed to have a successful marriage, even though she was talking to her mother-in-law, God honored that spirit, that commitment.

Last night I had a dream, a dream about Boaz. I dreamed he called to me to have my daughter lay at his feet. I know that is not exactly how the story of Ruth unfolds, but as I was dreaming I was thinking "This is important. This means something."

And it does, without a doubt. Boaz is out there right now. He is praying for his Ruth. And I am praying for both of them. I am praying that God will bless a union that has not even taken place, because I know MY God is faithful to His promises.

He is faithful to His daughter....and I AM His child.

Lord, You see my children. You see what lies ahead for them. Prepare them for whatever You have for them. Prepare them to take on the "roll of a lifetime," that of a wife and a husband, that of a mother and a father. Make them ready to be servants, to love as they would be loved, and to always be listening for Your voice. And help me, Lord, to teach them Your ways, to be the example they need. This is my desire, Lord.

Looking Back....Moving Forward

I know you are not supposed to look back.

But, I want to look back.

There are things that are now behind me that I want to remember, always.

So I am going to continue to remember those things that are worth remembering.

I'm going to move forward from those things that are worth leaving behind.

I have a wonderful legacy of love that I will hold to forever.

But, each day is a reminder that I am still here. And with each reminder I know I have a purpose yet to fulfill.

And I am ready to be all that I was created to be.

I am looking back.....and moving ahead.

And I am ever thankful.

This is My Song

Every moment

Every memory

Every season

Every year

All the good times

All the bad times

Times of strength

And times of fear

Through the tears

Through the sunshine

Through the pain

And the joy too

The notes are arranged

By the Great Composer

He is writing

My life's tune

This is MY song

This is MY song

Each day is a verse

To my own melody

My Savior is writing

My song just for me

And it is filled with high notes

There are low notes too

Some days the tempo changes

As He sets the mood

This is my life's story

That someday will be finished

The composition complete

Will it be worthy

Will someone sing about me

Have I made an impression

That will last for all time

Will it be remembered

When my song is done?

This is MY song

This is MY song

Each day is a verse

To my own melody

My Savior is writing

My song just for me

When Death Comes

When death comes

It comes quickly

Even when it is expected

It steals in

And provides an ending

To some one's story

When death comes

Hearts cry

Tears run hot

Not for the life that is gone

But for the life that is left behind

When death comes

It catches you

Unaware

Even if you have waited

Holding your breath

For their last to be drawn

When death comes

Time begins again

Now divided in before

And after

Memories flash

And you reach out

To grab them

And draw them close

For the comfort they provide

When death comes

It leaves in the place

Of the life that has ended

An emptiness

That can only be filled

In eternity

When death comes

Sorrow catches you off guard

Washing over you in waves

As the voice whispers

"She's gone, she's gone"

And you wait

For that time

When death comes

For you.

Earning Your Wings.....

Indulge me a bit here.

I have been, understandably, thinking about my Mother, pretty much non-stop.

My Dad was very charismatic. He was out-going, self assured and he went after life with a sure step and a go-get-em attitude.

My Mom was his back bone.

I can never remember her seeking out the lime light, although it could have surely been hers. She seemed perfectly content to prod us along and then bask in the glow of our successes.

Now, to some, this would seem unfair. After all, women have the right to go as far as they want, be whatever they want in today's society.

For the record, let me say....she was living within that right....she was doing what she chose to do, what she loved to do.

The past few years took a toll on her, drained her strength. In December of 2004 she became ill. She had a heart valve replacement in 2001, which was a very scary experience. But this time was different. No less scary....just different.

She told me that night in the ER, "It's ok. This time I am ready."

My Pastor preached such an awesome message Tuesday night; "Vision Before Victory."

He said at the outset of the message, "I don't know who I am talking to tonight, but God wants someone to know that you have to have the vision before you can get the victory. You have to be able to see beyond your present troubles."

His text was Joshua 6:1-2 Now Jericho was straitly shut up because of the children of Israel: none went out, and none came in. And the Lord said unto Joshua, See, I have given into thine hand Jericho, and the king thereof, and the mighty men of valour.

In verse one, when describing Jericho, it is said, NONE went out, and NONE came in.

Yet, in verse 2, the Lord says: "SEE, I have given it to you!"

Some of us are stuck in a "Barnyard Mentality," just scratching in the dirt when we have to promise of being born on the wings of the Spirit.

My Mama had developed a vision. She knew her time was short. And she was ready. She could see beyond her present troubles to what was waiting ahead.

So, instead of being stuck on the other side of the walls of circumstance, she was ready to soar.

Why should she remain here when she could rise above these earthly problems, when she could "mount up with wings as an eagle?"

When I was in Louisiana weekend before last we ended up admitting her into the hospital. She told my sister that morning that she knew.

She was already looking ahead, seeing beyond the barnyard of life "unto the hills" where her help was...to where her loved ones waited...where her sweetheart waited...where her Savior waited.

Where she will wait no more.

Thank You Lord, for a Pastor who is sensitive to You. You always know just what is needed. And I need Your strength today. Help me to see beyond this present time, let me have a vision of what is to come so that I can have the victory over this present grief. All I ever need is You....

My Mama

I always thought it unfair, as a child, that I didn't look like my Mama. She was an incredible beauty. Olive skin, beautiful hair, perfect smile.

She had many that tried to win her heart, but only one succeeded...my Daddy.

Growing up, my Mama kept everything as it should be. She worked, she cleaned, she did laundry, and she cooked a meal every night. I was not neglected because she was working, I was blessed because of the balance she always provided.

When I finally married, I remember calling her, crying one night. I just couldn't understand why my house did not stay clean like hers always did. She simply said, "That's because when you go to sleep every night, I stay up and make sure everything is picked up."

When I brought both of my babies home I went straight to her.

And throughout the years there have been few events that I did not want to rush to share with her.

She has been my confidant, my cheerleader, my critic and my friend. And I have done my very best to emulate all she has been to me with my own children.

I just don't know what it will mean....being a motherless child. Even at 43, it was my Mama I wanted when I was sick recently. It was her advise I longed to hear, because I knew she would be straight with me.

And now, just like that, she is gone.

3 months after she lost the love of her life....

My heart is broken. How can I face this lost without my Mama to comfort me?

I don't know what I did to deserve my parents, to deserve the love that they had for me.

Jesus, I need Your comfort right now. I need You....oh, I need You....

Spitting Lemonade

Today is one of "THOSE" days....ever have one?

It seems like you wake up on the wrong side of the wrong side of the bed.

There was no catastrophe, nothing major happened, except life.

And sometimes life is enough.

I learned something yesterday, something I already knew, but only had an idea of. And this new knowledge has cast a cloud over my usual **sunny** disposition...(cough cough)

No, really...I always try my very best to see the good in every situation, because I really DO believe that "...all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are THE called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

So, I have managed to turn things around and see that there could be a GOOD outcome, as long as I keep God first. Think about it, in order to get to "good" in the dictionary you have to pass "GOD." He always comes before good!

Now, I know that old saying...ehem (using my perky, upbeat voice)

"When life hands you lemons....Make LEMONADE!"

Don't we all feel encouraged?!?!

NOT....

I am so sick of the devil. He tried to hand me stuff and tell me..."Oh, well....nothing you can do about this....just make the BEST of it...."

And I do truly believe God's Word, I know that ALL THINGS work together for good..."

But I don't believe I always have to suck on the lemons life hands me and be happy about it.

I'm MAD at the devil....

I'm MAD about what he is trying to get away with....

And as he slips that glass of lemonade in my hands and says, "Drink up!" I have every intention of spitting back in his face!

He is a liar and the father of ALL lies.

There is nothing that says THE called have to drink of the sourness of his lies!

I have an Advocate....There is someone on my side....Someone who fights for me....Someone who provides me the strength to fight for MYSELF....

I'm MAD at the devil....SPITTING mad....he best just stay out of my way.....

Truth or Consequences

I am a victim of circumstances.

Come to think of it, we all are.

Once upon a time God had an idea.

That idea was man.

God created man and his companion, woman, and placed them in a beautiful garden filled with everything they needed to survive.

He gave them a "no no."

Genesis 2:16-17 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shall not eat of it; for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

The serpent approaches the woman, compelling her to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. It was his desire to have their eyes opened allowing them to know good and evil.

So she did eat, and so did her husband.

At that moment....at that particular time....the only ones they could see that were affected were themselves.

As the older people would say, "they could not see past there own noses."

What would have happened if she would have stopped and thought about the action before she took that bite?

Well, I might be skipping around the garden, walking with the Lord in the cool of the evening.

But, that was not the case.

Because of this action God banned them from the garden to keep them from eating of the tree of life. In other words, He did not want them to live forever in their sins.

As a consequence of this one action, man's life was forever changed; we are still feeling the effects of that one action.

Young children (and teenagers) tend to only see themselves in any situation. They want "instant gratification" and do not even think of the consequences of the actions.

But, it's not only young people.....

I am a victim of circumstances. My life has been colored by the choices of others-good and bad choices.

I have wept bitter tears as the results of choices made by another, choices made when they also had the knowledge of the consequence of the action~and still they chose that thing that would not only hurt them, but just like that domino at the end of the line, their fall touches those around them.

I know the truth of how my poor habits can affect those that I love. I have seen firsthand the cost of choosing yourself over your health. I have seen life end for this reason, and will probably do so again. And I have wept with the emptiness of lose.

So, I have a choice. Today I made it. I choose to do my best, to think about how my actions don't just affect me, but also those I love.

Today I made a choice that I hope affects the generations that follow me in a wonderful way!

I pray the consequence of this choice will change the course of my family forever.