I have been, understandably, thinking about my Mother, pretty much non-stop.
My Dad was very charismatic. He was out-going, self assured and he went after life with a sure step and a go-get-em attitude.
My Mom was his back bone.
I can never remember her seeking out the lime light, although it could have surely been hers. She seemed perfectly content to prod us along and then bask in the glow of our successes.
Now, to some, this would seem unfair. After all, women have the right to go as far as they want, be whatever they want in today's society.
For the record, let me say....she was living within that right....she was doing what she chose to do, what she loved to do.
The past few years took a toll on her, drained her strength. In December of 2004 she became ill. She had a heart valve replacement in 2001, which was a very scary experience. But this time was different. No less scary....just different.
She told me that night in the ER, "It's ok. This time I am ready."
My Pastor preached such an awesome message Tuesday night; "Vision Before Victory."
He said at the outset of the message, "I don't know who I am talking to tonight, but God wants someone to know that you have to have the vision before you can get the victory. You have to be able to see beyond your present troubles."
His text was Joshua 6:1-2 Now Jericho was straitly shut up because of the children of Israel: none went out, and none came in. And the Lord said unto Joshua, See, I have given into thine hand Jericho, and the king thereof, and the mighty men of valour.
In verse one, when describing Jericho, it is said, NONE went out, and NONE came in.
Yet, in verse 2, the Lord says: "SEE, I have given it to you!"
Some of us are stuck in a "Barnyard Mentality," just scratching in the dirt when we have to promise of being born on the wings of the Spirit.
My Mama had developed a vision. She knew her time was short. And she was ready. She could see beyond her present troubles to what was waiting ahead.
So, instead of being stuck on the other side of the walls of circumstance, she was ready to soar.
Why should she remain here when she could rise above these earthly problems, when she could "mount up with wings as an eagle?"
When I was in Louisiana weekend before last we ended up admitting her into the hospital. She told my sister that morning that she knew.
She was already looking ahead, seeing beyond the barnyard of life "unto the hills" where her help was...to where her loved ones waited...where her sweetheart waited...where her Savior waited.
Where she will wait no more.
Thank You Lord, for a Pastor who is sensitive to You. You always know just what is needed. And I need Your strength today. Help me to see beyond this present time, let me have a vision of what is to come so that I can have the victory over this present grief. All I ever need is You....