Growing up I had this big, strong, smart Daddy. I never even bothered with the whole "my Daddy can whip your Daddy" thing because everyone else knew it was true, too!
He was a man, I know that. He knew that, too.
My parents made choices, as we all do. As I like to tell my kids, "For every action there is a reaction." Some of those reactions are far reaching.
My parents both died young. They did. Far too young. I wanted them around a whole lot longer.
My Daddy, my big, strong, strapping Daddy ended up losing a leg, fighting just to keep the other one, losing his eye sight, and depending on a machine to rid his body of toxins.
I knew how intolerable it must be to him, but in my selfishness I wanted him around. All the sickness slowed him down so that I was able to really know him. He had much to give me.
He had become weak in his body there toward the end. My sister had shared that with me. When we went that last weekend and I had to physically pick him up and put him in the Yukon out of the wheelchair, I don't know who that hurt worse, me or him.
I saw John 5:6 the other day while looking for another verse and I thought of my Daddy.
I wondered if at that last instance he was there in the state he was in, and the Lord passed by.
I wondered if He saw the state he was in and had been for some time and said to my Daddy, "Wilt thou be made whole?"
And my Daddy said "Yes, oh yes!""
What a glorious moment that must have been! I can only imagine.
And to think just three months later He visited that house again where my beautiful Mama was waiting for the waters to be troubled.
"Wilt thou be made whole?"
Her feet, her heart, all whole. Her pain erased.
I have been grieving for almost two years.
I guess that is a lie. I have grieved for much longer. I watched them suffer and I grieved for them, for their pain and suffering.
Jesus asks a question in John 5:6. He gives a choice.
WILT thou be made whole? Because, you can stay broken.
You can continue to lay there beside that pool and wait for someone to come along and take care of you, or you can choose......
I have been praying that God would work in me, help me, make me whole again and ease some of the pain that I have felt at the death of my parents.
I realized the other day that I had taken up my bed and was walking through life again. There will always be pain, sorrow, and those moments where it seems like it is so fresh.
But I can laugh, I can smile. I can remember and I can take comfort in the fact that they are WHOLE.
My sweet, sweet Friend. Through you alone am I whole. I love You too much to fail You now.