Thursday, January 10, 2008

To Be Or Not To Be

It has been an interesting couple of days for me.

I am excited to share with you that I went out to dinner with my parents last night.

You don't know exactly what that means. But I do.

And even more than that, tonight they went out to eat Chinese food. And they went all by themselves.

God is so good! There have been times when I thought my parents would never be able to do something as simple as eating out again. And this has always been one of their pleasures.

We had such a nice time at dinner. The conversation was lively and varied. The food was tasty. The moment was magical. I can't wait for many more.

And to know that they ventured out again tonight, well, that is the icing on the cake!

Dr. Robert Schuller said, "What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?"


I am standing at a crossroad in my own life. Possibility looms on the horizon, but the security of comfort holds me back. I am comfortable where I am, but at the same time, in my comfort, I am losing out. My life is suffering, and I have the chance to make a change that will take me out of my comfort zone and challenge me as I have never been challenged before.

And that question rises in me. Can I do it? Do I dare to take a chance that could take me further than I ever imagined?

It may seem simple and silly to some of you that I am so happy to be able to have a dinner out with my Dad and Mom. It may seem that way because you can never truly understand what we have been through. You have not seen how deep the valley has been, and because of that, you may not appreciate the splendor of the apex of this climb. But I do. Oh, how I do.

And because I have seen first hand and experienced the odds against just this sort of thing ever being part of their lives again, I stand in AWE!

Having said that, it would also be impossible for anyone to know what it has cost me to reach the place I am in now. And as I dream of the peak, I still face the climb. I have climbed enough to know that sometimes you slip, you fall, you hurt, you have to start over.

Now the question is not, can I make the climb, but is the climb for me? Is this my mountain?

That I do not know, yet.

Failure is possible, that is true. But, still I will press on. Because I have placed my confidence in the One who has written my name in the palm of His hand. He knows me, knows what I am capable of. He knows my strengths, my weaknesses, and my desires.

So I will follow Him, listening for His voice.

I am amazed by You. Over and over again, I am amazed. Such a simple thing to some is such a miracle to me. And I thank You today. Thank You for loving my family, for hearing my prayers. And thank You for guiding me, for keeping Your hand on me. How could I live without You? I don't ever want to find out. I give You my heart, my life, knowing that wherever you take me, whatever is meant to be in my life, I'm going to trust You. My faith, my hope, lies in You.

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