I have been facing a battle. I have been fighting and slaying and fighting some more.
I have been on the battlefield, and I have been alone.
In some cases the enemy I have been fighting lately is me.
And I am willing to do that, too.
Walking this trial alone I have learned some things about what matters, and what doesn't matter.
I am now going to attempt to record some of what I have learned for myself, for the next battle, because it will come.
I have learned that love is all that matters. I have so much love in me to give, but I'm not going to waste my time giving it to someone who doesn't want it. That's over. There are too many others who need love to beat myself up over someone who won't accept what is in my heart.
I have learned how thankful I am for who I am, the way that I am. And I am so incredibly thankful for my family. I have learned over and over again how wonderful they are.
Do you know I have sat back in wonderment lately and observed the children my husband and I have raised. I have been awed by them.
I have seen my daughter face some hurt and opposition over the last few months and instead of tucking her tail and acting like a coward she has become stronger, better, more beautiful to me than I ever thought possible.
And my son has stood up to the painful challenge of his own mistakes and allowed God to use them to bring him to a higher place in Him.
I have learned that I have No idea what I did to deserve them.
I have learned that I hate the devil more than ever. I hate the way he uses people as his tool to hurt and destroy. I hate it.
I have learned that there is nothing I hate more than him but I hate back biting almost as bad. I hate people who feed on others misery and use the pain of someone hurting to make themselves feel stronger. They are poison.
I hate discord.
I have learned that I don't have the patience to be drawn into drama. Never have.
I have been challenged within myself. Challenged to refocus. Challenged to put my energy into something that is worthwhile. Challenged to move forward instead of hanging back trying to drag along someone who does not want to go.
I am building a foundation in my life. A solid foundation. A foundation that will last till that glorious day. And I'm not stopping. I don't have a moment to waste.
I don't care about the pettiness, I don't care. I'm ready to roll up my sleeves and work. And I intend to be so focused on the task at hand I won't even notice the mess going on in the world around me.
I am building on my forever. And that includes my GOD, my husband, my children, my family, and my church. I want to take someone with me, someone who is hungry as I am, for I have never been this hungry before.
God has challenged me today.....
And I am ready.