I am in love with Him, my Beloved.
I long to be with Him, feel His presence. I listen always for His voice.
I remember that day when He came and rescued me, I replay it, amazed still that He found me and He wanted me.
Even though He is the King of Kings, He loved me. Even though I didn't deserve it, He took me in His arms and He will never let me go, although I am free to walk away.
He listens to my cries and He fights for me. He rejoices when I rejoice, He comforts me when I am broken and downhearted.
He never forsakes me, never leaves me on my own.
And there is nothing, not one single thing that I would trade for the opportunity to see His face.
This world has dissappointed me, I have been let down, but not by Him, never by Him.
He is the sweetness that sustains me, the courage that infuses me, the love that lifts me.
He is my truest friend.
I want to live my life in such a way that You will be honored by the love I have for you. I don't want to leave room for questions or for doubts about my closeness to You. I know that having a relationship with You is the most important thing in my life. You are my Love, my Life, my All.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
My Enemy
I have an enemy. I have an enemy that hates me, that wants to see me suffer and wants to see me fail. I have an enemy that rises up against me, seeking ways to devour my faith, my family, my strength.
This enemy struts around, puffed up, roaring at me about my secret fears, stalking me in my weaknesses, wanting me to tremble, wanting me to falter in my walk so *he* can move in for the killing of my faith.
But, I also know my enemy. I know his voice, the measure of his steps.
And I also know he is truly a coward. He is a coward in the way he attacks. He moves in darkness, trying to slink in through cracks in my armour, hoping to catch me unaware and wanting to get a hold on all I hold dear before I even know what has happened.
Egar Watson Howe said, "If you knew how cowardly your enemy is, you would slap him."
Does anybody understand that?
I can't cower down in the face of the adversary. I must face him like the bully he is. I must not be afraid to strike.
But I'm not facing him toe to toe, because that is not where I am my strongest, my balance may get shaky and I may stumble or fall.
I am facing him on my knees. It is there he will hear my battle cry as I lift my voice unto the hills from wince my help comes. I am not waiting for him to make the first move. I am initiating this battle. And I am not afraid.
I want the light within me to shine so brightly that it will expose all his devices. I want that coward to know *I* am not afraid.
This enemy struts around, puffed up, roaring at me about my secret fears, stalking me in my weaknesses, wanting me to tremble, wanting me to falter in my walk so *he* can move in for the killing of my faith.
But, I also know my enemy. I know his voice, the measure of his steps.
And I also know he is truly a coward. He is a coward in the way he attacks. He moves in darkness, trying to slink in through cracks in my armour, hoping to catch me unaware and wanting to get a hold on all I hold dear before I even know what has happened.
Egar Watson Howe said, "If you knew how cowardly your enemy is, you would slap him."
Does anybody understand that?
I can't cower down in the face of the adversary. I must face him like the bully he is. I must not be afraid to strike.
But I'm not facing him toe to toe, because that is not where I am my strongest, my balance may get shaky and I may stumble or fall.
I am facing him on my knees. It is there he will hear my battle cry as I lift my voice unto the hills from wince my help comes. I am not waiting for him to make the first move. I am initiating this battle. And I am not afraid.
I want the light within me to shine so brightly that it will expose all his devices. I want that coward to know *I* am not afraid.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
To My Children....With Love
Dear Babies,
Oh, I know you are no longer babies. The years that have passed confirm that. But, to me, you'll always be my babies. I just can't help it.
I am so in awe of you both. I mean that. You are so amazing and incredible. And I think of how I was when I was your ages and I cannot imagine how you both came to be my children. How could I have a part in the making of who you are? It is a mystery.
I think of your tiny bodies with the huge spirits, it seems so long ago. But sometimes when I sleep, God brings you back to me. And I once again see your shining faces, hear your sweet laughter.
The years pass too quickly. Life happens too fast.
I don't know if I'll ever be ready to let you go from me, let you make your own lives. But I know I must.
I would give my life for you both. In a second, without a second thought.
I would take on anything that is brave enough to come up against you, because I know no fear when you are at stake.
I want to shield you from every hurt, protect you from every pain, keep you from every dissappointment.
I want to...
My sweet wonderful children. I hope you know my love will always be yours. My strength is yours, my prayers are yours....my heart is yours....
Forever, and ever, and ever.
And beyond.
Oh, I know you are no longer babies. The years that have passed confirm that. But, to me, you'll always be my babies. I just can't help it.
I am so in awe of you both. I mean that. You are so amazing and incredible. And I think of how I was when I was your ages and I cannot imagine how you both came to be my children. How could I have a part in the making of who you are? It is a mystery.
I think of your tiny bodies with the huge spirits, it seems so long ago. But sometimes when I sleep, God brings you back to me. And I once again see your shining faces, hear your sweet laughter.
The years pass too quickly. Life happens too fast.
I don't know if I'll ever be ready to let you go from me, let you make your own lives. But I know I must.
I would give my life for you both. In a second, without a second thought.
I would take on anything that is brave enough to come up against you, because I know no fear when you are at stake.
I want to shield you from every hurt, protect you from every pain, keep you from every dissappointment.
I want to...
My sweet wonderful children. I hope you know my love will always be yours. My strength is yours, my prayers are yours....my heart is yours....
Forever, and ever, and ever.
And beyond.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
How Ironic
Each minute there are 245 births and 110 deaths.
"Death comes when memories become more powerful to us than dreams."
I don't know who said that. I agree.
I want you to probe the depths of your heart right now. Delve deep into the center of what makes you who you are. Think of your life 2 years from now and where it is you will be.
I bet you have some dreams wrapped up in there, some plans, some hopes. Even if it's having a garden or paying off a bill, you have something that you would like to see happen.
"I've had visions,
I've had dreams,
I've even held them in my hands,
But I never knew,
They would slip right through,
Like they were only grains of sand...."
Years ago I was having a conversation with a girl I worked with. I was telling her some of the things I wanted to happen in my life. She was a negative, sour person anyway, so I shouldn't have been surprised when she bitterly replied, "You want too much!"
I was shocked! I had always been taught by my Dad and Mom I could have anything I set my mind to. I remember telling her "What would life be if you didn't have dreams?"
And I have been blessed to see so many of the things I had hoped for come to pass. They weren't elaborate dreams, I dreamt of an education, of a home of our own, of having some money in the bank. But I guess to her, these things were out of reach. How sad.
They sailed. They sailed. Then spoke the mate:
"This mad sea shows its' teeth tonight
He curls his lip, he lies in wait,
With lifted teeth, as if to bite!
Brave admiral, say but one good word.
What shall we do when hope is gone?"
The words leapt like a leaping sword:
"Sail on! sail on! and on!"
My parents have come to a realization that it may be time to let go. I cannot imagine how it must feel for these two people who taught me how to dream to know that their own dreams may die. I cannot imagine what they feel knowing the irony of it all, with all the time they now have to fulfill their dreams they now find themselves virtually trapped in their home, prisoners of circumstances.
But in the midst of the death of their dream of travel comes the birth of new dreams: a new kidney for Dad, the possibility of spending time closer to my brother and sister, the thought of new babies to hold and love somewhere down the road.
"The most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
I think Hellen Keller must have been the expert on feeling with her heart. She didn't have the ability we do to see or hear, she could only feel. And today as a dream breathes it's last breath for my parents, in their heart, new dreams are born, new possibilities, new hopes.
I believe the Bible calls this "FAITH."
"NOW FAITH is the substance of the things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1)
I like how the commentary in my Bible describes this chapter. (Hebrews chapter 11) "demonstrates the nature of the only kind of faith that is acceptable before God and that will triumph in the worst of situations. It is a faith that believes in spiritual realities, leads to righteousness, seeks God, believes in His goodness, has confidence in His Word, obeys His commands, regulates life on the promises of God, rejects the spirits of this present evil age, seeks a heavenly home, perseveres in testing, blesses the next generation, refuses the pleasures of sin, endures persecution, performs mighty acts of righteousness, suffers for God, and does not return to 'that country from whence they cam out' i.e. the world."
Isn't it ironic how things turn out sometimes? But if we hold on, God has a purpose and a plan. I see His plan unfolding even now.
Death comes, swiftly and slowly, but it still comes. But if the numbers are correct, it seems for every death there are 2 births. Just this fact should give birth to hope within us.
I read an article about a nurse who has lived her life doing missionary work. She was there after the tsunami devastation and listened as one man spoke of having to make the choice of whether to keep holding on to his wife, or whether to hold on to their 3 year old child. He wept bitterly as he spoke of letting go of his wife's hand.
There are times when we have to let go of something we love in order to preserve something else. I am thankful I have never had to make the decision that this man had to make, but I can see his reasoning as painful as the decision was and even though it must still haunt him, it preserved the life of the child, the culmination of the dreams of he and his wife.
But letting go always hurts. Always. It is the possibilities of tomorrow that keep us going.
I am so grateful for the many dreams You have allowed me to see come true, and for the many dreams that are on the way. I am thankful for all my tomorrows and blessed by all my yesterdays. I am glad I know that sometimes things have to die in my life in order for me to give birth to something better, even if it is a dream that dies. I am living each day, dreaming of that day when I see Your face. I love You so, so much!!!
"Death comes when memories become more powerful to us than dreams."
I don't know who said that. I agree.
I want you to probe the depths of your heart right now. Delve deep into the center of what makes you who you are. Think of your life 2 years from now and where it is you will be.
I bet you have some dreams wrapped up in there, some plans, some hopes. Even if it's having a garden or paying off a bill, you have something that you would like to see happen.
"I've had visions,
I've had dreams,
I've even held them in my hands,
But I never knew,
They would slip right through,
Like they were only grains of sand...."
Years ago I was having a conversation with a girl I worked with. I was telling her some of the things I wanted to happen in my life. She was a negative, sour person anyway, so I shouldn't have been surprised when she bitterly replied, "You want too much!"
I was shocked! I had always been taught by my Dad and Mom I could have anything I set my mind to. I remember telling her "What would life be if you didn't have dreams?"
And I have been blessed to see so many of the things I had hoped for come to pass. They weren't elaborate dreams, I dreamt of an education, of a home of our own, of having some money in the bank. But I guess to her, these things were out of reach. How sad.
They sailed. They sailed. Then spoke the mate:
"This mad sea shows its' teeth tonight
He curls his lip, he lies in wait,
With lifted teeth, as if to bite!
Brave admiral, say but one good word.
What shall we do when hope is gone?"
The words leapt like a leaping sword:
"Sail on! sail on! and on!"
My parents have come to a realization that it may be time to let go. I cannot imagine how it must feel for these two people who taught me how to dream to know that their own dreams may die. I cannot imagine what they feel knowing the irony of it all, with all the time they now have to fulfill their dreams they now find themselves virtually trapped in their home, prisoners of circumstances.
But in the midst of the death of their dream of travel comes the birth of new dreams: a new kidney for Dad, the possibility of spending time closer to my brother and sister, the thought of new babies to hold and love somewhere down the road.
"The most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
I think Hellen Keller must have been the expert on feeling with her heart. She didn't have the ability we do to see or hear, she could only feel. And today as a dream breathes it's last breath for my parents, in their heart, new dreams are born, new possibilities, new hopes.
I believe the Bible calls this "FAITH."
"NOW FAITH is the substance of the things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1)
I like how the commentary in my Bible describes this chapter. (Hebrews chapter 11) "demonstrates the nature of the only kind of faith that is acceptable before God and that will triumph in the worst of situations. It is a faith that believes in spiritual realities, leads to righteousness, seeks God, believes in His goodness, has confidence in His Word, obeys His commands, regulates life on the promises of God, rejects the spirits of this present evil age, seeks a heavenly home, perseveres in testing, blesses the next generation, refuses the pleasures of sin, endures persecution, performs mighty acts of righteousness, suffers for God, and does not return to 'that country from whence they cam out' i.e. the world."
Isn't it ironic how things turn out sometimes? But if we hold on, God has a purpose and a plan. I see His plan unfolding even now.
Death comes, swiftly and slowly, but it still comes. But if the numbers are correct, it seems for every death there are 2 births. Just this fact should give birth to hope within us.
I read an article about a nurse who has lived her life doing missionary work. She was there after the tsunami devastation and listened as one man spoke of having to make the choice of whether to keep holding on to his wife, or whether to hold on to their 3 year old child. He wept bitterly as he spoke of letting go of his wife's hand.
There are times when we have to let go of something we love in order to preserve something else. I am thankful I have never had to make the decision that this man had to make, but I can see his reasoning as painful as the decision was and even though it must still haunt him, it preserved the life of the child, the culmination of the dreams of he and his wife.
But letting go always hurts. Always. It is the possibilities of tomorrow that keep us going.
I am so grateful for the many dreams You have allowed me to see come true, and for the many dreams that are on the way. I am thankful for all my tomorrows and blessed by all my yesterdays. I am glad I know that sometimes things have to die in my life in order for me to give birth to something better, even if it is a dream that dies. I am living each day, dreaming of that day when I see Your face. I love You so, so much!!!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Do You Believe In Magic?
For those of you who think I may have fallen off the face of the earth and into an alternate universe since I have been strangely silent, well, I guess I have. We are about to enjoy our last day at Disney.
It has been so wonderful. I can't begin to describe. I am sad to see it end. I have been strutting around in full ostrich mode knowing my sister gave up her Thanksgiving break so we could be here.
I was reading a journal entry from Bobby's cousin Barbara whose son Tyler is fighting cancer. She was talking about turning 40. I don't think time prepares you for all life brings your way. Some days I feel so overwhelmed. But each day I just wake up and face it. I don't know how I make it through sometimes. It is surely not by my own strength or will, only by my precious Savior. He is my strength, my shelter, my song.
I don't usually subscribe to magic, but this week has been...magical. The last of my lifetime with my kids at home. I'm looking forward to sharing the *magic* with the next generation. I missed my babies this week!
Thank You for You NEVER put more on me than I can bear. You have blessed my life in so many ways. Thank You for my sweet family, for touching my Daddy, for the love of my brother and sister, for making MY dreams come true.
See you real soon....
It has been so wonderful. I can't begin to describe. I am sad to see it end. I have been strutting around in full ostrich mode knowing my sister gave up her Thanksgiving break so we could be here.
I was reading a journal entry from Bobby's cousin Barbara whose son Tyler is fighting cancer. She was talking about turning 40. I don't think time prepares you for all life brings your way. Some days I feel so overwhelmed. But each day I just wake up and face it. I don't know how I make it through sometimes. It is surely not by my own strength or will, only by my precious Savior. He is my strength, my shelter, my song.
I don't usually subscribe to magic, but this week has been...magical. The last of my lifetime with my kids at home. I'm looking forward to sharing the *magic* with the next generation. I missed my babies this week!
Thank You for You NEVER put more on me than I can bear. You have blessed my life in so many ways. Thank You for my sweet family, for touching my Daddy, for the love of my brother and sister, for making MY dreams come true.
See you real soon....
Friday, November 16, 2007
Extraordinary or Extra-Ordinary....You Pick
I was walking Lance this morning for Mama. Daddy had to go back to the hospital this morning. He was a little short of breath when I left him last night, but he will sometimes get that. By the time he got to the Emergency Room he felt like he was going to die.
While I was ambling along in the crisp air this morning the word *extraordinary* popped into my head. Why I don't know, but then I am never really certain why things happen the way they do in my head. I just go with it.
So, I was thinking I guess there are people who would love to be described as ***EXTRAORDINARY***
Me, not so much.
I'll settle for being ==EXTRA-ordinary. Yea, that's my goal.
I want to live a plain, dull, boring life with no bells and whistles. I want to glide through life, under the radar of excitement and popularity.
I want to grow old and die in my sleep as my body simply decides "Enough of this monotony-I feel like traveling on."
Any points I have gained over the years toward being labeled as "Extraordinary" are up for grabs. If they were like the old Green Stamps, I probably only have one or two on the first page, but hey if it will put you over the edge so that you can receive the the *Label* of your dreams, they are yours with my blessings.
I'll take an ordinary life, please==As a matter of fact==throw in some extra!!!
While I was ambling along in the crisp air this morning the word *extraordinary* popped into my head. Why I don't know, but then I am never really certain why things happen the way they do in my head. I just go with it.
So, I was thinking I guess there are people who would love to be described as ***EXTRAORDINARY***
Me, not so much.
I'll settle for being ==EXTRA-ordinary. Yea, that's my goal.
I want to live a plain, dull, boring life with no bells and whistles. I want to glide through life, under the radar of excitement and popularity.
I want to grow old and die in my sleep as my body simply decides "Enough of this monotony-I feel like traveling on."
Any points I have gained over the years toward being labeled as "Extraordinary" are up for grabs. If they were like the old Green Stamps, I probably only have one or two on the first page, but hey if it will put you over the edge so that you can receive the the *Label* of your dreams, they are yours with my blessings.
I'll take an ordinary life, please==As a matter of fact==throw in some extra!!!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
congaratulations...................you have won 753,437GBP
Well, I opened my email this morning, and to no surprise at all, I once again have won some large sum of money from a foreign country I have never heard of.
IF all these email were legitimate, I would be richer than Bill Gates by now.
*You mean, they're not legitimate?????* Uh, no. And if YOU have responded, you might want to run a credit report.
Email is a crazy thing. Every time I open mine there is something new to immediately delete without opening. How do these people find out about me??
I know that every time you visit a page there is the possibility of trouble. This is why I am so careful about where I go and what I visit. Well, this is one of many reasons that I am.
We are having a special service tomorrow night at the church here in Douglas. My husband and daughter were out Saturday morning sticking up fliers. One of the places they put one was in the door of one of the liquor stores.
Denise said when they got it up she bolted for the car. My husband asked her why she was in such a hurry. She said "I don't want anybody to ride by and see me coming out of a liquor store!"
He said, "Well, you know what you were doing there and God knows what you were doing there so it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks."
She said, "Daddy, the Word says abstain from the very APPEARANCE of evil!!!" She knows she has to be careful where she goes because people are watching her, just like these crazy computer programs that watch where we go and what we look at.
I don't mind so much deleting the emails from diet sites or home improvement sites and such as that, but, I don't even want to think about some of the junk I could get if I looked at some of the JUNK out there.
It would be so nice in life to really get emails and be able to deposit large sums of money in your accounts even though you have done nothing to earn them. But life doesn't work that way.
And even though my own bank accounts are not fat, I am rich beyond measure. Remember, I am an heir of the King of Kings!!
Psalm 23 is probably the most well know of all of the Psalms. But have you ever REALLY read it?
"The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."
So, thanks anyways Sir Charles from the island of Timpokwa, but as you can see I am WELL taken care of.
**As a side note** My Dad is doing very well. He should be home this evening. He had some abnormal brain activity during his surgery yesterday and we spent several hours praying that he would not have the neurological damage the doctor mentioned was possible. He is not happy that he can't drive for 2 weeks, but other than that, he seems fine but sore.
I never run out of reasons to praise Him!!!!
IF all these email were legitimate, I would be richer than Bill Gates by now.
*You mean, they're not legitimate?????* Uh, no. And if YOU have responded, you might want to run a credit report.
Email is a crazy thing. Every time I open mine there is something new to immediately delete without opening. How do these people find out about me??
I know that every time you visit a page there is the possibility of trouble. This is why I am so careful about where I go and what I visit. Well, this is one of many reasons that I am.
We are having a special service tomorrow night at the church here in Douglas. My husband and daughter were out Saturday morning sticking up fliers. One of the places they put one was in the door of one of the liquor stores.
Denise said when they got it up she bolted for the car. My husband asked her why she was in such a hurry. She said "I don't want anybody to ride by and see me coming out of a liquor store!"
He said, "Well, you know what you were doing there and God knows what you were doing there so it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks."
She said, "Daddy, the Word says abstain from the very APPEARANCE of evil!!!" She knows she has to be careful where she goes because people are watching her, just like these crazy computer programs that watch where we go and what we look at.
I don't mind so much deleting the emails from diet sites or home improvement sites and such as that, but, I don't even want to think about some of the junk I could get if I looked at some of the JUNK out there.
It would be so nice in life to really get emails and be able to deposit large sums of money in your accounts even though you have done nothing to earn them. But life doesn't work that way.
And even though my own bank accounts are not fat, I am rich beyond measure. Remember, I am an heir of the King of Kings!!
Psalm 23 is probably the most well know of all of the Psalms. But have you ever REALLY read it?
"The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."
So, thanks anyways Sir Charles from the island of Timpokwa, but as you can see I am WELL taken care of.
**As a side note** My Dad is doing very well. He should be home this evening. He had some abnormal brain activity during his surgery yesterday and we spent several hours praying that he would not have the neurological damage the doctor mentioned was possible. He is not happy that he can't drive for 2 weeks, but other than that, he seems fine but sore.
I never run out of reasons to praise Him!!!!
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