Tonight's Service

We had a wonderful service tonight. Bro. Wood brought us a message that was titled "Until."

We are so blessed. It was a great message.

I thought I'd post a picture of my little family. So here we are....

Of COURSE I Do!!

I have so enjoyed this blogging concept. How lovely! I was looking at my posts and to the unknowing soul it would appear I have nothing but time to sit around and apply my thoughts to the virtual page.

So, here's the basic *skinny* on my life. As I mentioned previously I am a wife and mother. And I also mentioned I am a nurse. I work M-F 8-5 just in case you wondered. I get up each morning before 6am (if possible) and straighten up my house, wash clothes, iron, that sort of thing. The morning is also my prayer time and I am actually trying to work myself into getting up at least 30min earlier so that I won't be so rushed in the morning.

Monday through Wednesday I leave work and come to my parents and assist my father with dialysis while training my mother to run the treatment. Since she has had some health issues we have been slow getting the training done.

Then usually around 9 to 9:30 I go home, spend a little time with my family and try to get into the Word with my son. I then wash more clothes, straighten up, bathe and make it to bed about 11:30 to 12:00.

We have church here on Thursday, so we skip that day with the dialysis treatments and we pick back up on Friday.

Saturday I clean and Sunday is church.

I have been trying to remove myself to another area while my Mom does treatments for Dad, that way I am there, but won't be tempted to take over and do things myself. She has been doing very good learning something so foreign. BUT>>there is a possibility that she may have to have another surgery and that would, of course slow the training down some.

So while I am making myself scarce I have been blogging!! When training is over, my blogs will probably slow down since I don't have a lot of time at home to get on the computer. My life will once again resume a repetitive routine (which I find great comfort in).

My life is full, my cup runs over each day. I am so thankful that my Savior saw my end from the beginning. He knows my every move, my every need. He knew long before I did that I would be a wife, a mother, a nurse, and that all these roles would help me to be the daughter that my parents need me to be at this time in their lives. I look forward to the day they pull off in their motor home with all this behind them and enjoy life to its fullest.

So if you were wondering if I even had a life, well, now you know....Of COURSE I do!!!!

God Bless!!

I Just Can't Help It.....

Well, yesterday was definitely not a good day to be a Boulet for me at work. I have never been a fan of being called to the office, and, yeah, yesterday just kind of firmed up that dislike for me.

I have not really ever been called to the office at work before, when I really think about it. And the more I think about the whole incident, the more questions come to my mind.

Now I'm not saying I wasn't wrong, and I have been very good and very repentive in my attitude. It was just something that was said during the course of the whole event that keeps coming back to my mind. One of the reasons for my trouble is the fact that I cannot hide how I feel.

You know, this is very true. I can't hide how I feel. I can keep myself composed and I can keep my emotions out of it for the most part, but, as far as showing emotions that I don't actually feel, well, I have a problem doing that.

"I am what I am and that's all that I am" as Popeye used to say. When I'm upset, it shows, when I am happy, it shows, when I am sad, it shows, and when I am disgusted, I guess it shows too. I am usually just better at sucking it up.

I can't be something that I'm not. I mean I really can't. I suppose that makes some people uncomfortable. Or so I have been led to believe over the last 2 days. Maybe I should be apologetic for that, but I don't know, wouldn't it be kind of dumb to apologize for a behavior that I cannot change. It's kind of like Turret's syndrome of outward emotion. I feel it I show it.

I would never go around intentionally hurting people. That is not what I mean at all. And I'm not making excuses for myself either. Not at all.

I know people that can be whatever they want, portray whatever emotion is appropriate for that moment, for that person. I just cannot do that. Is it a bad thing? Umm, obviously it didn't get me the Dedicated to Caring award yesterday, but I won't go so far as to say it's a bad thing.

So, I guess I should also add to my list for yesterday that I am sorry that I cannot turn off my emotions. I would never have won any acting awards. I was upset, my behavior was wrong, my emotion was real.

The Word of the Lord calls me to put on the "whole armor of God" because I am fighting a battle. Of all the attributes of the armor He provides, I don't recall reading that a "happy face" was one of them.

I have gone up against foes that slashed my spirit with a big ole' toothy grin. And then there have been those that attacked me out of "concern" for whatever situation they were bringing against me. I just don't know how to fight that way. If you want to know how I'm feeling about a situation, I guess you just need to look at me.

I know what I truly fight, for "the weapons" of this warfare are not carnal, but spiritual, for the pulling down of the strongholds that I have built in my life. And yea, I may have sat there yesterday and had tears flowing down my face while I was told how badly I had behaved (because I can't hide my disappointment in myself either) and I meant it when I said I would control myself and behave in a proper way, but I won't bow down.

And it hurt me to know that the very first time in my working career that I can think of I have stood up and said what I was feeling, right or wrong, that I get called on the carpet, AND told to "say only nice things to" the person, and to boost them up and encourage them when I have never said an ugly thing to anyone, not even my words of anger yesterday.

But I'll get over that. What I can not get over is being myself. What you see is what you get, and I just can't help it...OK? *GRIN*

OOPS..I did it again

Well, today is another day, full of opportunities. And already today I have had the opportunity to do good and shine my light before man....

And I failed. I don't even know why I failed, but I did.

One of my personal favorite "Aunt Sheri Stories" happened when I was in high school. I had a class upstairs and as I was leaving the class and starting down the stairs I could feel myself begin to fall. I had my arms full of my books and there was nothing or no one nearby to grab hold to. So I announced loudly "Oh, here I go!!" as my books went one way and I went another. I was not hurt and neither was anyone else by the flying books (or the flying Sheri for that matter). But I sure did get picked on for quite sometime. My friends nearby thought it was hilarious that I *announced* that I was about to fall. And it was, it really was.

It was scary at first, knowing I was about to plunge headfirst down those concrete steps. Oh I could laugh when it was over and everything was OK. But while it was happening, at that instant when I could feel myself begin to fall and I couldn't help it or stop it, well, that wasn't fun at all.

I have prayed that I could be an example, that I could be a tool, an instrument to be used to reach people. And right when I had the opportunity to be all of those things and more I could feel myself falling and I didn't know how to stop. Only now it's not funny and I am disappointed in myself for falling, and for failing Him.

Now, here's the deal. I could sit here and say that it is no use, that I had no business thinking I could be used, that I could make a difference, and I could let that rotten attitude that assaulted me this morning become who I am. I mean after all, that would be the easy way, wouldn't it? OR I can rise above it, and not let myself lie there in the mess I created. I can stand back up and say, alright people, I fell, but I will rise up, and I will keep going, and I will be better. And I can say, "hey, I was rotten, and I'm sorry."

Because that is what the world truly needs to see, that I am made of flesh and that I fall, but I do get back up.

My gracious Father, I am so glad for Your mercy today. You have blessed me in more ways than I could ever thank You for. Today is no exception. For it is by Your mercy that can keep going even when I make mistakes. But mostly today, I thank You for Your grace, because I know that mercy is needed, but Your wonderful mercy is available to all. I thank You today for the grace that let me see myself in my *fallen* sinful situation, and that through Your love for ME, You gave me the grace by which I stand. Let me walk in a way befitting a child of the King. And when I do fall, let me praise You for Your hand that lifts me to my feet again.

Even though You know me, yet You love me....again and again and again.....
Your fallen child.

Say It Ain't So

In case you don't know me, let me tell you a little about myself. I am a wife and mother of 2 terrific children. I live a charmed and perfect life free of worry and strife. Problems, I don't know anything about them. My job is like a dream filled with satisfaction. AND my house stays spotless all the time, especially with my 2 dogs that are completely housebroken. Yup, I guess you could say I'm perfect and so is my wonderful life.

And now that you are paying attention....NOT! The only correct part is I am a wife of 20 years and I do have 2 terrific children. OK, my life is perfect even with its many imperfections.

I almost had an out of body experience the other day. Since I would like to think I must have been crowned the reigning "Queen of Stress" when I was too busy stressing out to notice, well, let me just say, I was having a particularly bad day. And at the apex of all the turmoil I get to my office to make some insurance calls with only 1 hour to do them and one of my other 2 office mates in my 3X9 cell was on my phone, on a personal call, that went on and on and on.....

First I said, "Ok, this is Ok, I can look at some other stuff." But as time passed and she moved from her daughter's trip out west to the swimming pool I could feel myself "nutting up" (as my sister would say). I became more and more agitated until I realized that I was one twitch away from being carted off to "Room 8" in the Emergency Department my office is housed in.

And 20 minutes after I entered my little space she ended her call, ending my close call with a police escort to Savannah for an evaluation. So I promptly made my calls and finished well within the time limit I had.

Isn't it funny how something so trivial can cause you to fly to the brink of sanity? I face so many challenges each day with work, balancing my family and helping my parents with some health issues they are facing, but yet something so insignificant can just seem like the end of the world.

Recently I was with my parents in their motor home while we were receiving some training on a machine for them to use at home. My Dad was feeling poorly, my Mom was having problems and feeling poorly and I awoke just after 3am with chest pain which sat me straight up in bed. I happen to be an RN (for those who don't know) and I immediately checked my pulse which was very erratic. I got up so I would not disturb my Mom and went to the bathroom and began to pray. As I said my token prayer for help, I was constantly assessing myself and using my nursing judgement to decide what I should do.

Finally I decided to see if I could lie back down. And I did for a moment until I felt like I couldn't breathe for the weight on my chest and the arrhythmia of my heart beat was increasing. My jaw began to hurt and I began to feel panicked. I closed my eyes and while continuing to monitor my pulse I simply said "OK, Lord, I have no choice here, I've got to trust You."

Immediately my heart rate converted to a normal rhythm and the pain lifted. I opened my eyes and looked straight into my parents mirrored closet door where in bright red I saw the word "SEE" (it was 335 am) and I began to weep.

I do see, I see that I've got to trust Him with the big issues as well as the little issues. He can handle my chest pain and He can give me the assurance that I will complete my tasks even when something seems to block my way.

And it's through this TRUST that I build FAITH. He sends things our way to "perfect" that faith. I have to learn in bad times He is working for my Good. I would that I could tell you about my "perfect life" free from strive or worry, but I can't say that. What I can say is I know these worries and strife's are for a season, a season I must endure if I'm going to endure to the end.

What's the BuZZZ....

Just so you'll know, I work a secular job in a secular world. There, I said it. It's all out in the open. I have always been an idealist of sorts. I tend to see good where no good exists, only to be disillusioned by the reality of life. Please, let me clarify by saying I did when I was a younger person.

And I also thought that everyone went into my profession for the same reasons that I did. HELLO??? I can now attribute these thoughts of mine to flashbacks from my youthful days as a blond. (I was blond as a child, ok)

There was this nice lady that I used to see at work sometimes, my how sweet she was, always smiling and friendly. Just seeing her made me happy. Then I started working with her every day, and I saw something in her that was far from friendly, so I looked deeper at that smile and there was no real smile there at all.

It was after hearing her and really listening that I learned the most about this person's character. I noticed that the smile was still there, pasted plasticly on her face with the red lipstick that often stained her perfect teeth as she spewed venom about everyone on the face of the earth.

And I also noticed that the more my intolerance of her continual nice-nasty behavior became apparent, the more that her intolerance of me became apparent also, to the point where she can now see me in the hallway and look at the wall until she gets past me. That's kind of bad since we work in the same office, on the same team.

But that's fine with me. At least I know where I stand. I certainly don't want it to be thought that I accept gossip as long as it's delivered with a smile.

My Pastor was talking Sunday night about another minister who has gone on to be with the Lord. He was saying that one night he came in with a bucket of mud and preached on gossip. As he was preaching he threw hands full of black mud on the white wall behind him. He finally had someone come in and clean it up, but the thing was, after the mud was gone, the stains remained. He would never let them paint over the stains, choosing to leave them as a reminder of what gossip would do.

And so it goes, she continues on, continues being in the "know" gathering all the dirt about everyone she can. A wealth of information, I sometimes wonder what she knows about me. And all the time she is sharing the latest "buzz" around the building, she has no idea what stains she is leaving on her character, what trust that may have been that gets destroyed.

Lord help me to stay away from actions that muddy up my life, my mind, and my witness for You. When I walk down the hall I don't want it to be said of me that although my surface may seem spotless, my soul is dingy and dirtied up by my own bad behavior. And help me to set an example of how we should act, and what we should do for those that we hear are hurt or suffering. Instead of adding to someone else's pain or sorrow, let me be a light for You. Let me help them not hurt them. And let me help these that are slaves to this behavior overcome what ever it is that compels them to use others pain to lift themselves up.

Lord, help me to put my trust in You. When I see someone going down a wrong path, let me be driven to my knees in supplication for them. Let me bring my own problems to You for I know You are my closest Friend. I love You, and know Your Grace is sufficient.

Can Someone Press "Pause" Please....

Have you ever had one of those days when time seems to be running in fast forward and you can't keep up? It seems I have had my share of them lately. I have often thought how nice it would be to just freeze time for a while and catch up to where I need to be.

Time is an odd thing. It is unrelenting. I think quite a bit about time, about the passing of time, and about the results of that passage. I don't think I'm some great philosophical mind or any mumbo-jumbo like that. But I live my life in the wake of that great passage of time. I see every day the end result of years that have passed too quickly.

To use the phrase "bitter-sweet" would be appropriate, I suppose. Some moments more bitter, some more sweet. During my retrospective times I have found that I have not blamed my Lord for the bitter, I have found usually the fault, if any, lies within.

So I have learned that the most important thing I can do is pause, make time stand still by making myself be still and sit at His feet, cast my cares upon the One who cares for me, seek first the kingdom of God, and rightly divide His Word and apply it to my life, every time.

And I know if I keep my eyes on Him then, in time, I'll have all the time I will ever need. "Many things about tomorrow, I don't seem to understand. But I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand."

There is a River

We had good church here in Douglas tonight. Bro. Holt preached from John 4:7-14 and then also Ezekiel 47. He said that we will have the trickle effect here in Douglas until there is a river flowing here that will fill the dry places and heal the sea (people).

There is a river here in Douglas, and it was confirmed over and over tonight. God knows the desires of our hearts. Our desire is to see souls saved. May we pour out of ourselves enough to flood this thirsty town.

God is so good!

When I'm 64

I am a grown person and I can qualify that statement. Physically it is obvious I am in the throws of middle age, that is not what I mean. I am a grown person in my heart.

Through years come experiences, and through experiences should come growth. The by-product, so to speak of growth should be maturity. My heart should be well into the "Golden Years."

Everyone that lives and breathes faces challenges, and in the face of these challenges choices are made. So have I made choices, some good, some not so good, but those choices make up the substance of who I am and who I want to be.

Now I stand on the bank of tomorrow, looking across to the other side where my forever waits. And through it all, every challenge I have faced, every bend in the road, I have only become more sure of my goal. I've got to make it.

What life will hold for me when I'm 64, I cannot say. But I know I will hold on to Him. I have got to make it, my heart knows that is all that matters.