Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Yesterday, Today, Forever

My husband mentioned to me the other day that it was the 30th anniversary of the death of Elvis. Immediately in my mind I was transported back in time to the front of the duplex we lived in with my transistor radio where I heard the news for the first time. And I thought, that seems like yesterday.

Perhaps my life would be less consumed with the passage of time if I did not have such vivid examples of that passage in my parents. 40 years old is young, right? I have so many experiences ahead of me if the Lord tarries. 20 years makes a tremendous difference, brings about tremendous changes. 30 years, well...

And I don't want to downplay the importance of planning for tomorrow. But we also have to live for today, knowing that each decision we make can have long lasting effects. It's almost like with each decision we are laying a brick in the path of our future, setting the course for our tomorrow.

Oh I know things happen and we have absolutely no control over them. That is just the way of life.

I know I speak of my parents quite a bit. I can't help it. I love them so very much. Sitting in their driveway right now is the culmination of years of dreams. Years back when this dream began to develop so did excitement, anticipation. Now it is just a vehicle that once propelled their hopes and plans, just sitting there, empty.

And I listen to them talk about letting go of the dream. And I hurt for them. I hurt that my Dad can hardly see. I hurt that his strength, his stamina, and some of his sharpness seem to have diminished.

I hurt that my Mom cannot walk without pain, cannot be up on her feet for any length of time without risking losing her feet. I hurt that she feels helpless and less useful.

And I feel the pain of their broken dreams.

Everyday is a reminder of the relentlessness of time. Yesterday is gone, today is fleeting, but tomorrow, oh tomorrow, still holds hope.

For I know that somewhere beyond this world of pain and disappointments forever lies in wait. And I anticipate being drawn into eternity, one free of pain and heartaches, free of worries and stress, free of death and sickness.

Somewhere beyond the sunset of this life lies hope for the hopeless heart. I'm looking for that day. For I've never been this homesick before.

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