Today has been a hard day for me. I am feeling lost and sad due to present circumstances and the fact that in my imperfections that I walk in daily, I am always reminded that others are imperfect, too.
On March 2, I lost my Daddy. That "box" that had carried him for 69 years suddenly could not contain him any longer. And I miss him beyond words.
No one will ever know how much I appreciate the years I had here with my parents, in health and in sickness. In many, many ways, it was the trials of his health that gave me the opportunity to know him as I never had before, because, you see, I realized he was human.
I have so many wonderful memories of the times with him, even the hard times. So many stories that I would have never heard if his health had not slowed him down, because, I assure you, that was the only thing that could have slowed him down.
I learned about his character and his heart. I watched his faith grow even it the face of overwhelming circumstances. And I was given time to build a relationship with my father that will surpass even death.
Do I have regrets? Oh, more than you could know. I regret that life interfered with my ability to do more for him. I regret that, at times, I had to rely on others to help me, because, you see, as much as I would have liked for it to be otherwise I had responsibilities that could not wait.
I have also been thankful over and over that someone was able to help after I changed jobs. I have thanked God so many times.
I regret that life got in the way, but I am ever so thankful for all the time I was allowed. I have no energy to be bitter.
When I break the box of my praise over my Master's feet, I praise Him for ALL things. And the cost of my praise is unknown to anyone but me.
My Daddy taught me many, many things during our 43 years together. I saw in him character that is missing from most in the world today. Over and over when problems arose, when situations presented themselves, when sadness came, during times of great joy and during some of the darkest days, even when that "box" had almost failed him completely, my Daddy rose to whatever occasion came his way. He was dependable and true to who he was until the very end.
So shall I rise to the occasion of losing such a great man. I will carry myself with dignity and behave as he would have expected. And I will continue to praise the God of my salvation who knew the end from the beginning. I will continue to live my life in such a way that I can have that hope of seeing my Daddy once again. And on that great day may my soul be prepared to rise to the occasion of that marvelous resurrection.
But, until that day will always miss my wonderful Dad.