Learning to Let Go

There are a lot of things that happen to us as we mature. We learn to see the things in life that are important and then we see the things that really are not important.

For instance, my children are important. I don't care that they are grown. They are important. And, they still are my reason. AND I would probably still punch someone's lights out for messing with my babies. The ones I love are the only ones I would fight over.

I also have learned that I cannot hold on to things that are not meant for me to hold on to.

I have been hurt and I have caused hurt. And I have learned to walk away when it's time to walk away.

I know I have said it before and it drones on and on. But with complete honesty I am just blown away by how grown ups act. Seriously.

I know that I was raised to behave with dignity. I was raised to act "like I had some sense."

I hear stories about things that people in my age bracket do and I just cannot comprehend it. What is wrong with people?

There is a video on YouTube that a man discretely took of his wife while she was in the throws of a tantrum I would have broken a paddle on my kid's behind for having. I have literally never seen a grown person act that way. All because he wanted to do some work around the house. Wow. 

I have had bad things happen, hurtful things. I have been angry and distraught. But, for crying out loud, I'm not going to act like a two year old having a temper tantrum. I don't understand what you gain by acting the fool.

When my husband and I split up I told him that no matter what has happened we have two kids and we have many events in our future. I told him I wished him the best and I would treat him and anyone he was with respectfully. (ok I may have unfairly used the term bimbo, but I was wrong) I mean there will be weddings and babies and futures and what would it profit anyone for me to act like a lunatic.

There were issues on both sides of my marriage. Neither of us was totally to blame. Now, I have an opportunity to teach my children how to carry themselves in the worst of circumstances. I will not run down their father because that is unfair to them. They didn't ask for their parents marriage to fall apart. And I won't subject them to more pain because I'm bitter.

Because really, I'm not bitter. Oh, yeah it was bad and a lot of things happened that I could have never imagined happening in my life.

I know no one reaches my age without some baggage. But, I have learned some baggage can be left behind. There is no room in my life to let myself be so overcome with bitterness that I become that two year old.

Hopefully, when I'm finished with the things of this world one of the ways my children and grandchildren can describe me will be dignified.

Silly, but dignified.