Where Love Lives

To say I have been going through a crisis in my life is probably an understatement. I don't think I have ever battled fear as I do right now, except for after my mother died. It is so overwhelming and heavy.

And my faith has been shaken. Not a gentle shake provided to wake you from peaceful slumber. I'm talking earthquake, ripping up roads and destroying villages kind of shaken up.

I have an amazing family. I really do. There are more miles between us all than I have ever imagined. My son has decided we need to buy a huge piece of land and all live there together. I could see that.

I have found out over the last several months that people can be cruel. Even the people that you thought loved you. At some point they look at you in your struggle and decide you are no longer worth the effort, that you are now officially "lost" and as someone that is lost you are to be avoided. But, let me tell you a little secret.....

I may be struggling but I am still me.

Even when I have been found guilty in others eyes of whatever it is assumed I am doing, I am still Sheri.

I spoke to my brother yesterday on the phone. The cell service on my ride home is patchy at best so we ended up losing each other several times. I know there were things unsaid, things that he wanted to talk to me about to see where I am on my journey. But, we didn't get to.

I was in my car today and I felt such a longing for him. And, I will tell you why. Because, he loves me. He loves ME.

I sent him a message to tell him I loved him and to thank him for his love for me. He replied, "You know I do."

And, I asked him to help me pray for direction. I have been feeling lost today especially.

He replied, "I am," and I thanked him.

He said, "I wish you were all closer. It is good to have family near to help us with our equilibrium."

Oh, how I need that.

We talked further and he told me about his message for tonight. "Thankfully," he said, "we have hope."

Hope sounds good.

I have been many places, seen many things, and one thing I do know, without a doubt. I know where love lives.

There are many people in this world who may want to see me fail, many people who would never even notice if I did.

And then, there is my family. Wherever they are, love is there. And, I had such a keen longing to submerge myself in that love today, until it became a physical ache, a longing so overwhelming that I could not contain the tears, and I wept over my desire to be surrounded by their love today.

And, thankful they love me as they do.