I left my parents home earlier tonight. There is no way to describe how devastating it is to me to see the state of their health. To see them so debilitated is so disheartening to me. It is almost more than I can bear.
Each day of our lives we make choices, and each new day is etched with the consequences of what ever choices we have made in the past. As I look at my parents today I see choices, both good and bad, and the price of those choices.
There is an old secular song from some time ago called "Like a Rock." My husband who listens to secular music stopped on it on the way home tonight from Fall Festival at church. I was already feeling blue from my brief visit earlier with Dad and Mom and I guess this just sent me into a blue funk.
The song is about a man who is reflecting on his youth that is long gone, how strong he was, how his "eyes were clear and bright" and his "walk had purpose," his steps were quick and light. And he wonders where the years have gone, where the youth has gone.
He says that sometimes late at night he sits and remembers...
This just saddened me beyond belief to think of my own sweet Dad sitting in his chair in the den remembering....
Remembering the days when he could take on the world and win, when people stepped out of his way and when his assurance was apparent to anyone who got in his way.
What it must be like to look back.
My Dad lived life without regard to what anyone thought of him. He lived it under his own power, his way.
Now I wonder if he looks back at all he could have done as well as all he has done. Does he regret those youthful days he spent chasing the middle class dream and would he go back and give some of that boundless energy that he used to display to the One who gave him everything?
It is my prayer that he and my mother will soon be well enough to be back in church, hearing the Word, living the life that now seems out of their reach. I pray that they have peace in this time in their lives and that I can be everything for them that they need.
I want to live my life His Way... That is my desire. He is my Rock.