It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's....My DAD!!

I left my father a little while ago lying in the hospital. He was groggy from pain medicine, but his spirits were seemingly good considering.

There are tenuous days ahead for my family. I would really love to enter into full ostrich mode at this time and carefully peek my head out when everything is past. But this is not to happen, I am sure.

I have experienced much life. I have learned many things. I have treasures in memories stored in every crevice of my heart. I have had the distinct blessing of being my father's child for over 41 years now. Every year, through every new trial, I know the blessings increase.

I am overwhelmed.

To know that who I am, who I have become, the shape of my character, my strength, came from that precious man I left tonight resting, unsure of tomorrow, is a gift.

I hear of people that have suffered many difficulties, and I think, "WOW, how do they do it?"

And then I think of my Dad, of his life, of his triumphs and failings, and I just know.

My Dad has faced life, had made decisions, both good and bad. And, you know what, just like those speeding bullets that plagued that fictional super hero, life has just kept coming for Dad.

He is facing a new enemy, this one more threatening than we could have imagined. This enemy just crept in and abruptly took over, leaving us stunned and feeling powerless.

I looked at him tonight, this giant man from my little girl-hood, and I see the weariness from the constant battles of late, and I pray he has the strength to fight on, I pray that this won't be his Kryptonite.

I'm not ready to say goodbye to my very own super hero. But I know that if I have to, my Father in Heaven will see me through. And I know, someday, goodbye will come, always. (Our Appointment with the King)

Sweet Lord, take care of my Daddy tonight. Give him comfort and peace. Work in his body to bring healing, work in his heart to draw him close to You. Be with us now, and continue to prepare us. Thank You for fighting my battles, and healing my wounds. I need You more than yesterday.

Right Wrongs No Man

This is a crazy ole' world we live in. And I could pose as a psychic by saying "It will only get crazier!"

I am amazed and astonished by parents today.

And before you become offended, let me be the first to declare I am not the poster child for parenthood, so to speak. I have made more mistakes than I can count. I freely admit that to the world at large, and, more importantly, to my offspring.

If you have hung around me any, you know that I am totally in love with my family. I have GREAT kids! I am so, so blessed. I mean that.

Notice, I said I have great kids, I did not say I have perfect kids. They take after their mother--imperfect to the bone.

I know I have been spared many calamity that I have watched some of my peers suffer through, up to this point in my life.

I am, what the modern society we live in would call a throw back from another time. I should get a grip, right? I should let go, let loose, and let my children "sew some wild oats." Let them be kids, let them get out there, get their feet wet and make their own mistakes.

Ummm....NO!

My children have guidelines, they have boundaries, they have RULES *shudder* that they live by.

I know parents who do not monitor their children, allow them to come and go as they please, with whomever they please, dressed however they please.

Then when something bad happens they come crying *I don't know what went wrong!*

And, truly, neither do I.

When did our society decide that you were a bad parent because you behaved like a parent?

I want my children to feel like they can come to me, but I am their mother, not their friend. And I offer an ear, and advise, as their mother. Sometimes I tell them things they don't want to hear, but they keep coming back, so I guess it didn't hurt our relationship that I acted *like a mother.*

I have tried to give my children a love for all things of God, a respect for the Word and for the man that God has placed over us. I have taught them about the natural order that the Bible sets forth for us, about holiness, and about separation from worldliness. I want them to know without a doubt, that living for God is the very best of life, because I know it truly is.

Oh, problems still come. Bad decisions are made, and situations develop.

What I want them to understand through the passage of time is that there is nothing wrong with living right.

Someday when they are old, when their lives are full of memories of the time that has passed them by, if I can somehow help them to be able to look back on this time of their lives without regret, without pain, then that is all I can ask.

I see their potential in the work of the Lord, and I fight on for them. I hear others telling me to back off, but that is not an option. I refuse to just turn my children over to the world. They have been entrusted to me for a time, and I will not bow.

Rules are hard, guidelines can be trying, but if it prevents disaster, if it stops wounds, if it prevents scars, it is worth every thing.

You can never go wrong by doing what is right. Life's are not usually ruined by having morals, by upholding a standard, by walking the straight and narrow.

And to be totally honest, it would be so much easier to just say *whatever* and turn my back to what is happening in their lives. It would be so much easier to be that hip, cool mom. But, no matter how much easier it would seem, the cost is too great. I could cost them their very souls.

I need Your wisdom, Lord. I need it more now than ever as I face the opposition of the world, as I uphold what I know is right, even when it is not popular. You know I'm not looking for popularity anyway. The longing of my heart is to see my children grown, living for you, to see them leave on their wedding days, innocent of the filth of the world, and nervously excited about what lies ahead. I want them to have lasting love without a past to haunt them. I want to see them raise their families to love You and to reverence the things of God.

And someday, that great and beautiful day, I want to hear You say "Well done, thou good and faithful mother." More than anything, I want my legacy to be my love and faith in You.

As A Roaring Lion

Lately I have felt within my spirit that something was coming. God has always been gracious and prepared me for problems before they have come.

I have felt trouble brewing for quite some time now. And as I prepare for whatever it is, I ask for help.

Please pray for my family. We are under attack. And I know that a lot of times the devil is just making noise to distract us from our goal. He tries to scare us by the loud roar of unrest knowing that if we are distracted enough, we will miss what God is really trying to do.

Pray that we can stay focused. Pray that we will have a hedge of protection around us and we will grow from this trial.

I don't ever want Him to remove His protection from us.

Jesus, I need Your strength to make through. I am nothing without You. I plead Your precious blood over my family. Draw us closer to each other and to You. And help me to stand in the face of the opposition. Give me wisdom and courage. And when the battle is done and I am preparing for the next, could You just hold me in Your arms of protection for a while?

You are...the love of my life...You are...the hope that I cling to...You mean...more than this world to me...

An Appointment With The King

Ethan and I went to supper with Dad and Mom tonight. I have been enjoying being home and being able to go by and check on them more *now that I'm not a ZOMBIE anymore!*

We loaded them up and went to Ruby Tuesday's. Dad wanted the New Orleans Seafood, and Mom really wanted to try their Crab Cakes. Ethan and I were basically along for the ride.

I don't know what has happened to my Dad. I really have no way of even explaining it. Over the past months he had grown more and more bitter. It had really gotten to the point where I didn't even want to go to see them. I know that sounds horrible.

But, lately, he has been so happy and more at peace. He just laughs and talks.

I know I have mentioned it before how exceptionally hard it has been for me to watch my parents age. There are times when it doesn't seem so glaringly apparent, but tonight was not one of those times.

Dad was really wobbly tonight. His poor arms are covered in discolorations from who knows what.

My father was (and still is, I suppose) a *Newspaper Man.* I don't know if that gives him super-hero status or not, but he has spent his adult life driven by the written word. Now he cannot even see a menu, or tell the difference between a $5 bill or a $100 bill.

That hurts me.

We got back from eating and Dad was just so very chatty that I found myself leaning against the counter going from topic to topic.

Over and over he spoke of their longing to get out and do some things, to just *get well enough* to socialize again.

And then he said, "You know, *it* may happen anytime for your Dad."

I reminded him *it* may for me also.

And he spoke of someone he knows who recently lost their mother and how they had told him they were all there, all of her children and grandchildren, spending those last precious moments saying goodbye.

He said, "That would be the way to go."

Of course, Mom and I told him we were hoping we had more time.

That's what we all want, isn't it?

Pastor Weeks preached a message a few weeks back on the subject "An Appointment with the King."

We all have an appointment to keep someday. An appointment with King Death. (Romans Chapter 5) And as Pastor said, this is one appointment no one shall miss. It doesn't matter if you are famous or unknown, rich or poor, happy or sad, one day it will be time for your appointment.

Oh, how I want to be ready!

Please, continue to pray for my parents. I want to see them back in church, preparing for their appointment.

There are days, Lord, when all that gets me through is knowing that someday, at my journey's end, I can see Your face. I want to be ready for that day. Through my joys and through my sorrows, my thoughts, my prayers remain the same...."Even so, Come Lord Jesus."

No Where To Run

I have found, in my walk with God that my deepest wounds come from those that I am the closest to.

More often than not, it is not an enemy that puts me on my face before God, but it is a friend.

And though I long for days of peaceful grazing in His presence, I am faced with opposition that has me running for the cover provided under the shelter of His wings.

And I cry out to Him, "Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest. Lo, then would I wander far off, and remain in the wilderness, Se'lah. I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest." (Psalm 55:6-8)

Like this prayer of deliverance from David in the 55th Psalm, I have found that it is those that you see every day that are sometimes the biggest oppositions to your walk.

David said, "For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: but it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together , and walked unto the house of God in company." (verses 12-14)

He goes on to further describe his opposition by saying, "they have no changes, therefore they fear not God." (verse 19)

"The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords." (verse 21)

I have walked with opposition. I have broken bread and dined with the enemy. And I have learned that it is a dangerous thing to allow yourself to think that because you live for God, and your heart dwells within the safety of the walls of His truth, that opposition won't come knocking on your door in the guise of friendship.

Because the enemy will come, dressed up in their finest, and the walls that serve to protect you will give you no escape from the enemy within.

I have felt the weariness of battle of late. I have cried out to my God to carry me away and give me peace and rest.

His answer came in the voices of those I love this weekend. "Don't every begrudge your troubles, because it is through your troubles your anointing comes."

"As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me." (verse 16)

"Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." (verse 22)

Abraham Lincoln said, "I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for the day."

I have found myself running in circles, trying to outrun my troubles. And it is then, when I know I have no where to go, no where to run to but to Him, that I find Him waiting.

It is the times when I am broken, and the times when I strong. The times when I feel Him, and when I only feel the heat of the battle. In my times of rejoicing and in my deepest sorry.

I have found He is the finish line I long to reach, He is the One that I count on, for He has never let me down.

He is the reason I continue to fight. He is my song.

He is the shelter I need, my rest, my refreshing. He is the Rock I cling to.

He is the prize awaiting me at the end of my race.

Lord, let me always run to You. "Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice." (verse 17) I grow so weary, Lord, and there You are, providing me with Word to feed on, and strength to continue the course. If I do not walk an easy path, may I never begrudge the way You have set for me. For it is through my weakness, through my troubles, and through my trials I gain my greatest strength and testimony. I love You too much to fail You now.

Easter!!

Here are a few shots from Easter. We had such an AWESOME day!!! From Pastor's annointed message that morning to the moving presentation that night, I hated to see the day end!

These are mostly shots of *little people.* Note Abby's mad signing skills during "My Redeemer Lives."

Um..OK...That was DIFFERENT!!

I have FINALLY finished my out of town training. Now I am just waiting to have walls and doors in my office so I can *move in.* We have been promised this will happen on the 31st. I'm sooo excited!!

I have spent the last two days with Ronda, who is over our Community Education for Source. We have travelled around, visiting doctors and different places around town.

I have seen some old friends, and, hopefully, made some new connections. Please be praying for me that we will be successful here. From everything I have seen so far, God is better to me than I deserve *once more!*

So, today we took an office out to lunch from Alma. When they came filing in the restaurant I was surprised that the doctor came with them. Usually they are too busy for this kind of thing. But, he was the first one in the door.

He was a young guy. I am guessing in his mid thirties. He definitely fit his last name as he had very Nordic coloring. Needless to say, I was kind of shocked, not only that he came, but that he was so very young looking.

But, that was nothing.

In a very short time I was incredulous. First he started with throwing paper.

Then he stepped up to potato chips...

And in a very short time he was throwing pickles...

And his staff were throwing them back...

I know my face was showing my shock.

He would chunk a pickle and then laugh until his whole face turned blood red.

Finally one of his staff asked for a knife from the kitchen and another staff member grabbed it and held it aloft, threatening his life if he hit her with a pickle.

Another staff member jumped up after a pickle landed on her shoulder and proceeded to beat him all over with the pickle...

For the rest of the afternoon I just shook my head.

I HAVE NEVER!!!!

But, it was pretty funny. Even the staff in the restaurant were saying *WOW* after they all sedately filed out.

I don't think my own staff have to worry about flying pickles, but I hope we do have fun.

On a side note, I hired my first person. I pray I made a sound decision. Keep praying for me people....

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad world!!!!