Long Ago....And Not So Far Away....

I have heard it said that when we are facing certain death our "life flashes before our eyes." Wouldn't that be the coolest thing ever?

Can you imagine what it would be like to go back and replay certain parts of your past, just to see them again? Not so you could change them or make wrongs right or anything like that, but just to be able to see moments all over again.

Memories are strange things to say the least. Some are fleeting, some vivid. Most of our past holds no specific memory for us. That is probably a good thing.

I would love to go back to the moment I first saw Bobby, and our eyes met, and I felt that "feeling" down in the pit of my stomach.

Or back to when he and I had a newspaper route together before we got married. We would pack his car so full we would have to climb in through the windows. I always had a Dr. Pepper and some Spree's in my pockets. We played "Oldies" and made a game out of who could hit the driveways the most.

Then there was the night he proposed, how surreal it was, as he dropped to one knee there in the Harlequin Restaurant.

Just to be able to lie in bed and feel my child move beneath my ribs and wonder, "who is this life I carry?"

And then the incredible moment she made her appearance and I kissed her for the first time.

Or the crazy night I had my son, with his Dad 600 miles away, not even knowing he had a son yet.

If I could look back to their first steps, their first words, their first days of school, Denise's graduation.

I would even look back at the hard times, at the times I had to stand and fight for what I believed in, fight for my children, my family, my marriage. I would look back at the times I was broken, at the times I was desperate, to see how my continued faith held me up, or my lack of faith slowed me down.

And even though yesterday is forever written into the pages of my story, the story continues, unfinished for now. And I can close my eyes and see the day that I placed the pen into His hands and said "You are the Author and the Finisher of my faith."

40 years of memories, of victories, of failures, of happiness, and sadness, of hope and of hopelessness all contained in the binding of my story.

Oh to kiss the lips of my sweet babies again...I would if I could. I'd hold them in my arms and drink in the sweet smell of their skin. If I could....

But that was long ago.

And not so far away from today, if my Author chooses this route for the plot, I'll once again hold my babies, my babies' babies. Knowing what I know now...I'm going to absorb every moment, cling to every instant, and remember everything my mind can hold.

Someday when I'm at the feet of my Author, I will praise Him for my story, thank Him for my *Once upon a time* and Worship Him *Happily Ever After.*