Hello~~Hello

Well, I am back from my many adventures this week. I have logged a few miles, stayed in a scary hotel, and battled *the flu* and SURVIVED!!!

I love the company I am with! I cannot express how excited I am or how MUCH God has blessed me!

I even had the opportunity to be in service with Brother and Sister Holt in Augusta last night. Brother Holt is such a fantastic man of God. And Sister Holt is the epitome of grace and Godly beauty! And I got to see Britt!! Kaylie was sick at home, so I am sad I didn't get to see her.

I didn't hang around after service too long. I was running a fever and hurried back to my room to huddle under the covers and whine. *I still need my Mama when I'm sick, I don't care how old I am.*

I had no idea that there was a cold front coming in. I don't know if that change of weather added to my present state of health, but I'm sure it didn't help.

Shain has been hard at work while I have been away. He will be posting pictures on our BLOG!!! tonight, so I will post the link on here!! I am so excited about everything God is doing in our lives!

I have felt such a wonderful closeness to Him lately. Since that day I *let go* it's as if He has been saying "Finally, now let's get down to work!" He has spoken to my heart about so many things.

I don't know what I did to deserve all that You have given me, my precious Saviour. As I sit here today, I have no way of comprehending how You could love me this much, knowing myself like I do, and knowing NO ONE knows me better than You do. And to know that You have so much more in store for me...I am awestruck. I need You more...and more...and more....

Lookie...Lookie

These are a few of the shots Shain and I took yesterday. We kind of just goofed around, trying out the new equipment. These are only the shots from my camera. Let us know what you think!!

Burial At Sea

The Following Blog Is Real...Based On Real Life And Real Emotions.

Colossians 3:13....even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Sunday night...Revival Service with Brother Darrell Bennett....
God was there...I was forever changed...

Never have I ever been in a service where God spoke more directly to me. The title of the sermon was "God, Deliver Us From Knothole Religion."

And during the altar call, when he said, "Make room, here in the front. There is a lady here who needs deliverance, who is in prison, bound by anxiety and the past," I knew I had no other choice.

Because, you see, I knew it was me.

Oh, like he said, I am not imprisoned by pornography, or dirty books, or alcohol, or anything like that. And I serve God.

But, I have been shackled to something dead. I have been shackled to a dead little girl that was killed by fallen dreams.

And I have never forgiven. I have forgiven the *murderer,* but never that little girl who believed in perfect, in a love that would heal all wounds. I have never forgiven that little girl who allowed herself to be hurt over and over and over, until she died a tormented death, and was replaced by a weary and cautious woman, filled with anxiety and fearing the same fate, for herself, for her children.

Standing at that altar Sunday night, I listened as Brother Bennett prayed with my son, who is seeking a refilling of the Holy Ghost. I listened as I wept copiously as he told him to hold up his head, and reminded him God loved him.

And I realized that little girl haunted him too....

To that young woman, who was nothing more than a child, I have mourned for you long enough. My sorrow, my pain for what you endured has trapped me, and chained me to a past that is better off buried in the sea of forgetfulness.

I am sorry, sorry for the pain, sorry that you had no way to cope with what happened to you. But I can't live with that guilt chained to me anymore. I am not satisfied with looking through the hole in the fence anymore. I want to climb to the top, look fully over the other side. And I can't make that climb carrying you on my back.

So, at that altar, I cast your lifelessness into the sea. I don't think I can forget, but I do forgive. I know you did the best you knew how to do, you survived the only way you could. I owe you so much, for without you, I wouldn't have the courage to say goodbye.

Goodbye to you sweet innocent girl. Rest in peace at last.

Somebody Prayed for Me

It is hard to imagine.

And I can scarcely "cotton" to the idea myself.

But I know it to be true.

Somewhere today, somebody lifted me up before the Lord.

They prayed for needs I may not even realize I have.

They prayed for my life, my walk, my soul.

Oh, let them never stop.

Call out my name before Him. Reach for resolution to my faults and flaws. Pray, pray until you catch hold of the hem of His garment.

And don't just stop there.

Because I need Him, I need to make it. I need His hand on me, on my family.

Pray for me to have more sensitivity toward Him. I want to be used by Him.

I want to be used on my knees, wrestling with unseen forces, with powers, and principalities.

I want to be strong for the fight....I want to fight for you....

Remembering the Miracle

We had an awesome service last night.

We have been in revival with Brother Darrell Bennett from Texas.

This man is definitely from Texas! He does everything BIG!

We had a tremendous outpouring for the Holy Ghost last night as we have in every service. He challenged us to remember "Our Miracle."

Yea, how soon we do forget.

And he also reminded us that sometimes the storm comes because we are asleep, and we need to wake up! So instead of whining about the storm, we should be praising the One who sent it!

*In case you didn't know....sometimes bad things happen for our own good....they are not always a product of the devil (who we give way to much credit anyway)*

I had a wonderful time just chatting it up with my kids, and Devin, a friend of Ethan's from school, on the way there and back. According to the standard set by the world, my kids are so abnormal....and I am SOOOOO thankful for that.

Devin prayed at the altar. I expect her to get the Holy Ghost soon!!

We were listening to a CD on the way home by Jars of Clay. There is a line in one of their songs that I love. It says "I have no fear of drowning, It's the breathing that's taking all this work."

I can remember a time when I was young when the thought of death would make me feel panic. But death doesn't scare me anymore.

Not to say living does scare me, but getting up day after day, facing whatever life throws our way, is, well, so overwhelming sometimes.

And I think it's because I forget.

I forget who I am. I forget Who I serve. I forget my miracle.

Last night I stood back and watched as the men (young and older) gathered around praying for my son and I wept. There, with his hands thrust up in the air, stood my miracle.

And over my shoulder I could hear the weeping and praying of my other miracle.

Lord, let me never forget. Look what You have done for me. No, my life is not perfect. Yes, I face problems. But, God, I have a beautiful family. I have two children that would rather spend their free time in Your presence than any place else. And as I look around at the young people of the world I have to recognize how awesome that is.

And I remember so vividly, standing at an altar, with my frail son standing in front of me, knowing You had healed him. I remember the miracle, and the promise I made. How can I ever forget.

Drum Roll Please.....

Ok, so most anybody who knows me KNOWS I have been praying for God to open a door for me with my job. I really am not a job hopper, although my recent employment activities would say otherwise.

I happened across this job while looking for something for someone else. It sounded intriguing, so I applied.

I was called to interview and I went. I prayed "OK, Lord, if this is something I can do then let the door open, if not then don't."

Well, the door opened. So I walked through.

I am officially starting my new position on Feb. 25th. It will be a tremendous opportunity for me. I will even have a chance to advance my career.

It will also be very challenging for me. To start, I will have to train for at least 4 weeks, away from home. I don't know if I can stand being away from my family for that long. I just keep telling myself "this too shall pass."

Another door opened this week. Shain and I have our first job for "This Day Photography." I am all set to order our equipment later today so we will have plenty of time to become acquainted with it before the wedding on March 29. It will be in Savannah at a little Catholic Church. I am thrilled!!!

I will post a link to our website as soon as it is up and running! We need referrals people!!

We decided on the name "this day" for 2 reasons...

During the wedding vows you promise to love from "this day" forward, no matter what. We believe in those vows, in those promises.

And also for Joshua 24:15--And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you "this day" whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord

We have made our decision, and it is our prayer that God will use us to reach people through this venture.

Well, that's all my news for now.

Asleep At The Wheel

Years ago when I first started working as a nurse, I was delegated to the dungeons of night shift. At that time we lived about 15 minutes from town.

That was the longest drive of my life.

I would get off and get in my car to start the trek. Sleep would begin to beckon me as soon as I turned the key in the ignition.

I cannot count the times that I would suddenly realize I was sitting under the carport with no recollection of how I got there.

Thankfully this time I only live about 4 minutes from work, so I haven't encountered that problem.

And I am also thankful that I ended all those other trips parked safely under the carport because I know that each trip could have ended so much differently.

I have seen the consequences of someone who got behind the wheel of a car, thinking they could reach the destination they set out for, only to become weary and before they knew what happened their trip turned into tragedy.

I have seen saints sit on pews and sleep. Oh, I'm not talking about physical sleep, although I have seen that too.

What I am talking about is spiritual sleep.

They snuggle down into the routine of life and the next thing they know they are in a spiritual ditch, hoping for a wrecker to pull them out, or in some cases an ambulance to save them.

All those years ago I went to a Ladies Retreat after working the night before. I drove myself and 2 other ladies to the campgrounds about 3 hours away. We all visited a while and then dressed for service.

The guest minister was a very noted man who has writted many books on the subject of Apostolic faith. He is very well versed, and, ummm, maybe not a good choice when you haven't had sleep in almost 30 hours.

Not only did I doze off several times, I was literally falling out of my chair. And since I was only a few rows from the front, everytime I would jerk back up into my seat I was looking straight into his eyes.

I know this walk can cause weariness, but we have a place of rest, we have a refreshing promised in the Word.

And just like our physical body needs rest to function along with the other elements needed to sustain life, so our spiritual man needs too.

We have to feed ourselves on the Word, rest in the comfort of His Promises, listen for His voice, follow His direction, and delight ourselves in His ways.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I got a call from my husband late one night. He had been coming home from working out of town and he told me he had run into the ditch and needed me to come get him.

What he failed to tell me was he had run *through* the ditch and stopped under and between several pine trees. If I had not been awake and paying attention, I would have missed the car altogether.

So is it important that we stay alert for problems in our brothers and sister, and be ready to stand in the gap for them in prayer.

I want to be waiting with my lamp lit when He comes for me, instead of sleeping though and losing out.

Lord, as my exhaustion washes over me today, I long for rest for my body. Help me also to rest in You. I need that refreshing that comes from You, that lifts me up and renews my commitment to serving You. Help me to remain alert to any problems, big or small that may drive me off my course before I even know what happened. I don't want to end up another casualty of complacency. I want to be watching, listening, waiting and ready when You come.

Can't Never Could

I have spent my whole day stretched like a bow string, waiting to pop. The thing I dreaded came, just as I anticipated.

I have so much inside of me that wants to come out. It almost feels like I am a bottle of soda that has been violently shaken, and now waits for someone to open me up so all this inside of me can come shooting forth.

There are things right now that for various reasons I cannot do. Oh, how I want to. How the desire burns within me. It is a passion that is so hard for me to contain.

As I was talking to my *best Friend* today, I asked for something to help me in my situation. He was quick to answer.

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." -John Wooden

There are things right now that I cannot do, but there is so much I can do. And if I switch my focus off of the things that are out of my control, and channel that unused passion into other areas, like increasing my prayer time, or working on playing the keyboard better, or increasing my study time, then those things that I cannot control will become His focus.

I know the plans He has for me are all for my good. I am trusting Him fully, for He has NEVER, NEVER, NEVER let me down!!!

I have some other good news to announce, but now is not the right time. I'll leave you in suspense for a while longer. Suffice it to say, He always provides.

My precious Friend, I am longing for You today. Like the song I played over and over today, "If home is where my heart is, then I'm out of place." I long to be with You, putting the world behind me. I am comforted by Your words, for You said that You have overcome the world, so the things that would hinder me are nothing for You. Still, Lord, I've never been more homesick than now.